As I mentioned in several previous posts, Dora had a lousy Friday followed by a terrific Saturday. Speaking with one of her favorite extended family members really brightened her day. Beth’s assessment of Dora’s feelings about this particular woman was that this person was Dora’s alternate attachment figure, just as Guy was for Beth.

When I told this particular family member this information, she was quite pleased that she had, indeed, been a significant person in Dora’s life. And clearly... more

My family belongs to a fabulous, but large, church in our community. We joined when there were about 400 people, over 13 years ago. We missed it desperately when we were in Illinois, and we are so glad to be back here. Now there are over 15,000 in worship at one of the five services each weekend.

It just so happens that two of the senior pastors are neighbors … not bad considering there are only 14 lots in our neighborhood! Actually the senior senior pastor was the one who conceived of and developed our large lot subdivision.... more

I have been writing about the unfolding of a situation in my personal life that has a high probability of resulting in another placement in my family. I have been in regular communication with a family who is disrupting a child. While I was most definitely not looking for another child, the circumstances in this situation are unique and I am not closing the door to the possibility.

In this... more

When we adopted Beth after having had so much difficulty with our first two adopted kids, many folks wondered why on earth we had ventured forth yet again. We did try and adopt Beth through the domestic foster care system, even though she was a disrupting international placement, because we were hoping to secure some kind of subsidy to hedge our bet against hemorrhaging money on yet another deeply wounded child. My husband figured we had spent over $40,000 on our first two troubled kids by the time we added Beth. That is a... more

Our sermon for Father's Day was delivered by a guest preacher … and what a preacher he was.

My family belongs to a very large, very prominent Methodist church. We joined when there were 400 or so members, in 1994. Now there are over 15,000. Our pastor has written books and is well known throughout the country for his intellect, his preaching... more

In the series of posts I just completed, I discussed our purpose in parenting our challenging children, and how we should best measure our success. Being satisfied that the gift is in the giving is a very, very difficult concept to absorb, but it really is true. It is an easy concept when one thinks about more accepted areas of giving, like Christmas or birthdays. As children mature into adults, most of them learn that the true joy of Christmas or other... more

I am near the end of a series of posts discussing why it is we assume this parental responsibility. What is it we are to learn from this journey? I began by discussing God’s command to Ezekiel in the Old Testament. God wanted Ezekiel to be a prophet among the Israelites, and Ezekiel was to use as his measure of success the fact that he was doing what God told him to do—not the result of his efforts to impact the Israelites.

I asked my Bible scholar daughter, Stephanie,... more

I am in Colorado again this week, enjoying some time with my parents. But I put together most of this series of posts while traveling out here last weekend. I read some of Deb Hannah's comments to my husband as he was driving and I was typing. I couldn't read them without filling up with emotion, as my own wounds are still quite fresh.

Here is more of what Deborah Hannah, author of An Unlit Path, has to say about our job as parents in healing from the wounds of lost hopes and... more

I have been discussing the purpose of our parenting. Is our “job” to only parent children who provide pleasure and reciprocity in our life, or is it to serve the least, the last and the lost? Are we wrong to want and/or expect something positive to come back our way? Maybe not wrong, but human …

Deb Hannah sent me an email that started me thinking about this. She said:

I know that Beth is doing wonderfully and your relationship is everything you want it to be, and in some ways that can validate us as parents.... more

Once again I am going to warn you that I will be spilling the beans on Deb Hannah’s book, so if you’d rather wait to read this, you’ve been warned!

Deb and her husband Joe adopted five children after having given birth to four. The five adoptees arrived as two sibling groups—three and two. If you go to Deb’s website, you see a picture... more