As I mentioned in a few previous blogs, I am in regular communication these days with Deborah Hannah, author of An Unlit Path. I want to share with you some of our recent conversations. I have been struggling with how to present this. I want to just start typing and let it flow from my fingertips, but there are a couple of things stopping me.

First, I hesitate to “spill the beans” on her book, but I suspect I might end up doing just that. So if you want to read the book before you continue to read... more

I have a ton of really awesome resources sitting around here on my bookshelves, so I am going to start through them and share snippets of wisdom with you from some of my favorite attachment gurus.

Beatitude House in North Carolina is the ministry of Matthew and Fawn Bradley. I frequently have the pleasure of seeing them at conferences throughout the United States. Their ministry is just that—a Christian based approach to many aspects of attachment therapy and healing.

One... more

After writing my last post I read it to my husband. (After all, he was a captive audience, because we were still in the car on the way home from St. Louis!) I asked how I could put into action what I so desired to do… how can I encourage Amy without setting myself up for more disappointment? How could I separate my knowledge of what she was or wasn’t doing with her life with my sadness and disappointment over her choices?

My husband said... more

Often by the time parents finally find the Attachment & Trauma Network, they have been told over and over and over again how they are doing things wrong. If only they would do this, or change that, or fix this, or try that… their child would get better. Few people in the “normal” world seem to grasp the influence an emotionally disturbed child has on the family as a whole.

During my first interactions with a family in crisis, I simply support them and validate their feelings. I let... more

I am writing this morning from St. Louis. My husband and I drove the four hours here on Friday afternoon in order to attend a Love and Respect marriage conference… courtesy of Kyle and Marie. Their first anniversary is coming up next month and they attended this conference a few months ago. They were so impressed with the message they asked us if we would like to attend, and ultimately this opportunity became our Christmas present from them. How cool is that?

There was a great deal of good information... more

A most exciting email crossed my desk this morning. As I have repeatedly mentioned, I spoke to a group of Rotarians last Monday, even as the tragedy in Vermont was unfolding. I talked about the consequences of a child never forming a strong attachment to an adult. I talked about “blue babies”—kids who cry so fiercely and so long in their bid for attention that they turn blue. And I wondered aloud where that rage goes when no one comes to them? In many kids, it goes inward, only to manifest itself in some truly pathological way down... more

I am “toast” today after having guests in my home for the past 10 days. It started with my cousin Trina and her two boys; daughter Stephanie and her boyfriend arrived the day Trina left; two days later son Kyle and wife Marie arrived with her parents and sister along too. We plowed through a phenomenal amount of food that took me three days to prepare in advance. We took a very cold horseback ride yesterday after a fabulous Easter brunch. Most of my guests left at 5 AM this morning so Kyle could get to his 1 PM class on time, and... more

A reader commented about how more people are speaking out about mental illness in adoptees…how I wasn’t a lone voice any more. It doesn’t give me a warm, fuzzy feeling to be “recognized” as the voice in the wilderness… I’d much rather be known for something more positive. But I guess God had a plan for bringing me the kids He did.

I want it to be clearly understood that I don’t believe mental health issues are unique to adoptees or adoptive families! I believe any family living with a person who has an emotional disturbance... more

As I write this, I am sitting on a plane somewhere between Dallas, TX and Ft. Lauderdale, FL. I was sleeping, but when the flight attendants stopped the drink cart right next to my seat and started sorting all the empty pop cans 3 inches away from my ear… I woke up. That “wake-up call” is metaphorical for this whole trip thus far.

I am flying to Florida to meet my 83-year-old mom, and we are heading off tomorrow on a 4-day Bed & Breakfast junket. Along the way we will see two sets of old family friends and my... more

It was a twenty year struggle, start to finish, before Wilbur Wilberforce was successful in abolishing the slave trade in England. As mentioned previously, he submitted a bill to Parliament every year for 17 years in a row. The bill finally passed in March of 1807, by a large majority. If one does the math, you realize we are on the eve of the 200 year anniversary of that date.

But Wilberforce didn’t stop there. Twenty six years later, and three days before he died, as a result of his efforts slavery was abolished... more