Yesterday I spent a few hours doing something I haven’t done much of lately… sewing. Except for the marathon stint making centerpiece placemats for my son and daughter-in-law’s wedding, I don’t sew nearly as much as in the past. My “first batch” of kids often sported matching outfits… a fact which has come back to haunt me more than once after they grew up and realized what I had done to them! (Check out Amy's socks! I had much more time on my hands!)... more

This article in the NY Times addresses the “safe abandonment” laws. It is a depressing read, let me warn you…

It states:

The killing and abandonment of newborns by their mothers seems incomprehensible to most people. New York is one of 47 states that allow parents to anonymously leave unwanted infants at sites like hospitals or firehouses without fear of prosecution under so-called safe-haven laws.

But critics say that safe-haven laws, while well-intentioned, fail to tackle the root causes of infanticide because they do... more

The subject of Beth’s losses and abandonment surfaces with some regularity in our home. Whereas Amy refused to address any aspect of her pain, Beth is the polar opposite. Beth will have a “meltdown” over some trivial thing at school or some minor perceived slight, and very quickly we will both realize that the real issue is what lies beneath… Several times a year she and I land in my big rocking chair and the most primal wail escapes from her. Usually we both end up in tears, holding on to each other for dear life, and sharing her pain.... more

The alarm went off early this morning as Beth and I prepared for a swim meet. The high school where the competition is being held is 30 minutes away, and she needed to report for warm-ups at 6:40 AM! Yuck! And we get to repeat it tomorrow. So right now I am typing on my laptop, sitting on a lawn chair not far from the pool deck, and pulling in my foot every time someone walks by and threatens to bump my heavily bandaged big toe…

Beth is pumped. She’s pumped because she competing today; she’s pumped because she received her... more

I started out this day by showing up at my doctor’s office before 8 AM to have an ingrown toenail removed. Thankfully, my toe is still numb, but the getting numb part was horrible! As I sat down to attend to some business at my computer, I turned on the television. I ended up watching an A&E program about Cary Staynor, the Yosemite killer. (No shopping channel or cooking program for me!)

Cary Staynor was the older brother... more

Over the course of the past 17 years of parenting my now-emancipated daughter Amy, hope for the future became harder and harder to grasp. I have heard many stories about adult adoptees who finally “figured things out” when they were in their late 20’s or even in their 30’s. This was my hope, too…that even if my daughter and I never connected while she lived at home, perhaps someday she would realize what she had thrown away.

That last ditch hope was dealt a serious blow when we learned some birth family information that indicated... more

Our foreign exchange student, Julie, saw Amy in school today. And Amy asked Julie to say hello to me and said she would call soon. Boy, that’s a switch.

As Julie and I talked about Amy, I remembered another part of our in-the-dark conversation that was quite interesting and significant…

One thing that was noticeably different about Amy over the holidays was a decrease in the anger and negativity that so permeated... more

After talking about her birthmom, my conversation with Amy moved onto other topics. Amy told me that while it has been somewhat of a struggle for her on her own, she is “glad” we “kicked her out” because she fully realized she would have never made any changes unless we forced it. She actually said that she has realized how good she had it living with us. And she admitted that a huge part of her wishes she could move back home… and wishes she had made some different decisions when she had the opportunity to do so. While she obviously is much... more

Continued from previous blog…

My back was killing me and I needed to lie down, so Amy and I retreated to my bedroom. I left the lights off and stretched out on the floor, figuring it reduced stress to talk in the dark! Amy then continued with her questions about what it would take to revisit reestablishing communication (via letters) with her birthmom. The original communication came as a result of me paying the international... more

This is my last blog for the year 2006, and I couldn’t tear myself away from the television to write it before now. My family just watched the San Francisco 49’ers beat the Denver Broncos, thus completing the last of four dominoes that needed to fall to allow the Kansas City Chiefs to be in the playoffs. It was a tense, close game, won in overtime, but I sure have some happy guys around here right now. They can’t talk (they are hoarse) but they are happy.

Amy joined us tonight for dinner. She has been over to the house... more