One of the comments on my previous post (about how hard it can be to maintain a loving attitude) was about a 3½ year old child “monitoring” the older RAD child. And that same comment talked about how the mom paid if she let her guard down for one moment; how the child had zero comprehension about giving back to the family (but rather expected to be waited on hand and foot) even though he had spent all his life in that... more

In my next post I’ll get back to my vision for ATN, but for now I want to share a conversation I had with Beth today before we both crashed for a much-needed nap. Bear in mind she was exhausted so she was even more emotionally fragile, but still, what she said was incredible …

She attended camp last week with a neighborhood friend and classmate. Apparently they had some difficulties, as they discovered that living with... more

I picked Beth up at camp this morning … I feel complete again! She’s tired and badly in need of a bath, but can’t take one until the plumber gets here and fixes our not-yet-a-year-old sump pump that quit and has caused flooding in our basement. Sigh … that same basement that is nearly (but not quite) finished on one side and piled high with stuff we have yet to unpack on the other side. Piled high is the key word right now, as we have stacked everything on top of everything else. Just what I wanted to do on my Saturday afternoon.

Beth... more

Kelly and I had lunch today with my friend Kathy. Kathy was one of three other moms who had a hand in starting ATN. Kathy’s contribution was by far the most significant of the three. (She's wearing the blue shorts.) Kathy was the worker behind the scenes. She mailed out lots of informational packets and helped develop our fledgling database.

I was connected with her through our therapist who had always wanted to get a local support group going. One of the other two moms, "Linda", was also... more

I really appreciated Cindy Bodie’s comment in response to my last blog about how much she adores her older children, even though they put her through hell. It reminds me of a conversation I had with Foster Cline a few years ago. I told him how it upset me that I was getting so cynical. He said he completely understood but he... more

Tonight was “cowgirls night in”. While I was in Colorado last month, I found this game that sounded like tons of fun. It is called Cowgirls Ride the Trail of Truth and it is a board game played only by women, moving horses along the game board, answering questions and acquiring a saddle, boots, spurs, hat, steer head, and a gun. The first one to the end of the board who has all the acquisitions wins the game. Along the way you answer questions, much like Trivial... more

In this post I was discussing Foster Cline’s views about the types of individuals who work with abused children. Foster divides therapists and social workers into four categories:

Abusive individuals who appear abusive: This is the most easily identified of the four types of individuals. According... more

I am packing Beth up this morning for a week at YMCA Ranch Hand camp. I retrieve her next Saturday morning. She’s excited, and I think she will do fine. It is me I am worried about!

While she has been apart from me for this long before, it has been with me away and her at home. Last year she attended K State Equestrian camp, but it was for 2 nights only. One week was Western and one week was English. She was homesick the second week.

The YMCA stipulates no cell phones at camp and they encourage the kids... more

I skimmed the recent posts this morning from one of ATN’s listserves, and several interesting things caught my eye. The first was this comment from one of the moms:

What a miserable situation to be in … that of an adoptive parent of a child with RAD and whatever else. Boy would I like to get off the wagon and start over. I just want to yell, "HELP" to someone and have all of our situations fixed. I want these kids "healed" so that they can lead... more

I am sure I would be preaching to the choir if I happened to say I see attachment issues and attachment disorder nearly everywhere I am … and if I don’t see it, it finds me. My friends call me the “RAD Magnet.” Here are some examples:

I have spent a good portion of this past week networking, making and re-establishing connections in preparation for ATN’s second national conference in Excelsior Springs, Missouri this August. One of... more