I was going to give you all a break and move on to something else… but jeezzz, there is so much fodder for blogging in this examination of the Virginia Tech killer. One reader just asked if it was likely we would learn more about his life in high school or earlier. Well, it just so happens I watched some coverage last night that can answer that very question…

Two girls that attended his high school were interviewed, as well as a boy that attended high school with him and also attended Virginia Tech, and another male... more

I receive a plethora of electronic newsletters. I just wish I had 48 hours in each day so I could read them all carefully. Anyway, one that is very valuable and very quick to read is the Love & Logic Insider’s Club. This week’s topic was The Path to Positive Self-Concept.

Since there are suggestions all over the email that you can forward it to friends, I’m going to forward it to LOTS of friends! Here’s what it says:

Over the past three decades,... more

Like the reader who commented on my last blog, I am interested in learning more about the Virginia Tech shooter. I heard something this morning about how he never gave anyone eye contact and wore sunglasses all the time, even indoors. Gee, do we ever talk about eye contact when addressing issues of esteem, intimacy, respect and social awareness?

Yesterday I heard an interview with Rich Petrone, the stepfather of one of the Columbine High School victims. He refuted the popular (but incorrect) belief that the Columbine... more

I have connected with both Stephanie and Kyle today, sending text messages, emails and phone calls telling them I love them. I am still trying to wrap my mind around what happened at Virginia Tech yesterday. And the sad thing is, I get it more than most people. Sadly, I understand how warped some people can be. And I really understand how "normal" truly disturbed people can appear to folks who don't grasp the depth of the person's pathology. One of the dorm mates of the Virginia Tech shooter stated: "He did not seem like a guy that's capable... more

Yesterday, as the horrible events were unfolding at Virginia Tech, I was oblivious to it. I was presenting to over a hundred members of the Rotary Club. And this is one of the slides I was sharing… The text comes from here:

Princeton's Katherine Newman points out that, far from being "loners", the perpetrators are "joiners" whose attempts at social integration fail, that they let their thinking and even their plans be known, sometimes... more

In my discussion about my daughter Beth's sneaking candy and lying, I want to make it abundantly clear that the issues here are the sneaking and lying… not an occasional pilfered chocolate Easter egg. This is a pattern that disturbs me and sends some very negative messages. And I need to reiterate this has been occurring, and has been discussed, numerous times in the past… with no change.

Just a few days ago we had a couple of the neighbor kids over after school until their moms could get them. They all picked a snack with... more

Last October I wrote a couple of posts (here and here) about Beth’s problem with lying and my problem with Beth’s problem of lying… Well, we are (or she is) still at it. The second previous post I linked is the story of my last lie as a child... and what it was that had such a profound impact on me that I stopped lying.

Beth was ten last November. When... more

I’m still digging my way through a never-ending stack of boxes after our recent move. Beth was helping by filling several ancient bookshelves with literary treasures accumulated throughout the years. One such treasure is The First Nine Months of Life. How serendipitous to find this, as Beth has been bugging me for The Talk. We had another book… I think it was called How Babies... more

This series could go on forever as I respond to reader’s comments, and perhaps even more significantly, because I suspect it will take me forever to personally process this whole “relationship” with Amy.

One reader wanted to know why I thought so many people want to deny that adoptees have some tough issues to face. I think there are several reasons for that…

First and foremost, I think a significant number of people in general go to great lengths to avoid facing tough issues. I have no idea what... more

A reader commented about how more people are speaking out about mental illness in adoptees…how I wasn’t a lone voice any more. It doesn’t give me a warm, fuzzy feeling to be “recognized” as the voice in the wilderness… I’d much rather be known for something more positive. But I guess God had a plan for bringing me the kids He did.

I want it to be clearly understood that I don’t believe mental health issues are unique to adoptees or adoptive families! I believe any family living with a person who has an emotional disturbance... more