I have received some excellent and thought-provoking comments about Dora’s brief stay in respite care while I had my surgery. I will answer the questions and respond to the comments in a post in the near future … but this morning I am compelled to address yet another school shooting tragedy. I was actually presenting a luncheon... more

I would guess that anyone reading this blog would know what the word orphan meant. Most of us would state it means a child without parents, although Answers.com clarifies it to mean a child whose parents are dead. Answers.com lists a second definition as a child who has been deprived of parental care and has not been adopted.

Another definition is one that lacks support, supervision, or care.

All of the above definitions are nouns. Answers.com... more

I have received several phone calls or emails this past few days, from parents reading this blog, posting on ATN’s various listserves, or referred to me by individuals. The common theme in their questions for me centers on “Will he heal? Is there hope?”

One dad said, “Life is no fun … all we do is exist. He eats, sleeps and poops—nothing else.” This dad continued his post by describing all the attempts he and his wife have made to engage his son in life. Music lessons, sports, peer-attended social outings, etc. His son is inappropriate, passive-aggressive, disinterested... more

While I was exhibiting last weekend at an adoption fair, commemorating November as Adoption month, I met a man in his late 40’s who identified himself as having serious attachment and PTSD issues. He reminded me a great deal of Nancy Ashe.

His story was that he was the youngest of four children, and he spent about a year and a half on the streets and 8 years in an orphanage. This was 4 decades ago, of course, and the state was Alabama, I think.

This... more

There are several conferences that occur every year that I would love to present at, but finances preclude me from doing so. It costs between $500 and $1000 each time I travel somewhere to present, and the ATN budget doesn’t come close to allowing that. One of those conferences is the American Adoption Congress annual conference. I spoke there a few years ago. It is a conference that is supposedly aimed at all three members of the triad, but there are far more birthmoms and adult adoptees... more

One of the conference attendees I met at the NACAC conference was an adult adoptee, not too many years younger than I. I’ll call her Mary. She was a Florida native and her early history unfolded in that same state, in an era when foster parents were not allowed to adopt and even less was known about attachment, bonding and child development. She is currently a GAL, or Guardian ad Litem, working in the child welfare arena.

When she was an infant, she was placed in a foster home that consisted... more

Tonight’s local news featured a more in depth story about the accused killer of Kelsey Smith, a beautiful 18 year old recent high school graduate who was abducted in daylight hours from Target and killed shortly thereafter. I blogged about it here. The accused killer is Edwin... more

I really appreciated Cindy Bodie’s comment in response to my last blog about how much she adores her older children, even though they put her through hell. It reminds me of a conversation I had with Foster Cline a few years ago. I told him how it upset me that I was getting so cynical. He said he completely understood but he... more

In this post I was discussing Foster Cline’s views about the types of individuals who work with abused children. Foster divides therapists and social workers into four categories:

Abusive individuals who appear abusive: This is the most easily identified of the four types of individuals. According... more

I skimmed the recent posts this morning from one of ATN’s listserves, and several interesting things caught my eye. The first was this comment from one of the moms:

What a miserable situation to be in … that of an adoptive parent of a child with RAD and whatever else. Boy would I like to get off the wagon and start over. I just want to yell, "HELP" to someone and have all of our situations fixed. I want these kids "healed" so that they can lead... more