A reader commented on this post and asked the question, “How do I get my son to the point where he is not affected by my daughter’s behaviors, but only has the day-to-day stressors of life to deal with?”

First of all, let me clarify my view of the issues that cause a reaction in Beth, and those that don’t. One of the reader’s questions involved Amy’s departure almost a year... more

There are some reoccurring themes that appear over and over as I work with families and speak to parents across the country. Sometimes I think I sound like a broken record, but some things bear repeating…

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of providing significant structure for children who have experienced loss and trauma. Think about my horse and zebra analogy. If I look out at my domesticated horses, especially the one I just bought who is so low key and mellow,... more

Tonight’s local news featured a more in depth story about the accused killer of Kelsey Smith, a beautiful 18 year old recent high school graduate who was abducted in daylight hours from Target and killed shortly thereafter. I blogged about it here. The accused killer is Edwin... more

I mentioned in this blog how many electronic newsletters I receive, and how much good information is contained in them.

One newsletter I didn’t mention in the first post is The Link, which states its mission or purpose as: Connecting Juvenile Justice and Child Welfare. It is a publication from the Child... more

This comment was left in response to my blog about How to regain control of an out-of-control household.

Now here's a question(s) I have on the control issue. When our youngest came as part of a sib group of four, she began by trying to control and manipulate Mom and Dad. Mom saw through her "tricks" early on, and had the upper hand nearly from the get-go. Dad was more of a softy, and although firm,... more

There are several posts in the attachment forum that all focus on one basic issue … how does a parent regain control of a household where the child already has the upper hand? In one case, a mom writes that whenever she is shopping or at a store, her child throws a tantrum. Another mom writes about how her child will do nothing she asks. And as we all know, our kids can make control battles out of breathing …

My answer to this centers on a realization I had years... more

In the last post I listed four different categories of therapists or social workers as described by Foster Cline. I closed by promising to share Foster’s thoughts on how to differentiate between a good therapist who appears abusive and an abusive person who works as a therapist.

Foster lists the following suggestions for assessing a therapist:

• Assess the therapist’s home life and family. If they are married,... more

I have been ruminating this morning about last night’s Older Child Adoption meeting. Two pre-adoptive couples were at this support group meeting; one couple who has three young bio kids are planning to add a teen girl, and the other couple is bringing home two kids under the age of 5 or 6. Looking at their excited, anticipatory faces, I couldn’t help but sit there and wonder if their idyllic image would last, or if it didn’t, how long it... more

I didn’t write anything yesterday because I am having a terrible time shaking this cold or flu or whatever it is that I brought back from Colorado. And now to add insult to injury, my back is out of whack and I can’t stand up straight. And my chiropractor is closed today. Getting old is the PITS! At least I am not caring for attachment-affected children while I am sick … there is much to be thankful about that fact. In a later post, I will talk about how Mama being sick shakes the already shaky foundation our kids are trying... more

Once again I am going to warn you that I will be spilling the beans on Deb Hannah’s book, so if you’d rather wait to read this, you’ve been warned!

Deb and her husband Joe adopted five children after having given birth to four. The five adoptees arrived as two sibling groups—three and two. If you go to Deb’s website, you see a picture... more