I ended my previous post about Andrew Bridge by stating that his mom had, in spite of her mental illness, managed to instill in Andrew a hope for future possibilities. She clearly did some things right. Andrew agreed, for he had this to say:

There had to have been love and attachment in those early years. I did things I see other kids who grew up in foster care struggling so hard to do and not getting. In my heart of hearts, I know there were things... more

I have received several phone calls or emails this past few days, from parents reading this blog, posting on ATN’s various listserves, or referred to me by individuals. The common theme in their questions for me centers on “Will he heal? Is there hope?”

One dad said, “Life is no fun … all we do is exist. He eats, sleeps and poops—nothing else.” This dad continued his post by describing all the attempts he and his wife have made to engage his son in life. Music lessons, sports, peer-attended social outings, etc. His son is inappropriate, passive-aggressive, disinterested... more

As I mentioned previously, I have my cousin Trina here, along with her four kids. One of her children is a 16-month-old boy. I have blogged about him before. Darrion is one of the happiest kiddos I have seen in a long time.

He giggles and laughs and cackles and shrieks constantly. He hollers for his mom and she picks him up with a smile. He buries his face in her chest, and then turns around and grins at the world, knowing he’s safe and loved. He is now two months older than Dora’s... more

I was dumbfounded at a comment that a reader wrote in response to my blog about Baby Max. She stated, “… young infants need only good routine care -- e.g. feeding, changing, stimulation. Research shows it really doesn't matter who is doing it, because attachment behaviors don't start to develop until around eight months of age.”

To believe a child can be moved around between 0-8 months of age and not be affected (assuming the multiple caregivers are equally responsive and... more

Continuing with my interview with Mike O’Connor, author of Crisis, Pursued by Disaster, Followed Closely by Catastrophe: A Memoir of Life on the Run., my next question was:

How do you relate trust and love? How does lack of trust affect a loving relationship?

For me personally, it would kill it. Some relationships are built on lack of trust. For... more

I mentioned in this post how I managed to find a few hours one weekend to read a book. The book I read was Crisis, Pursued by Disaster, Followed Closely by Catastrophe: A Memoir of Life on the Run. I blogged about it shortly after I finished reading it.

Imagine my surprise to receive an email from the... more

As I mentioned at the end of my last post, Dora is struggling with lowering her walls and letting me in. There is an analogy I have heard for many years … apple or onion? If a child is an apple, there’s a core inside, but a peel that has to be breached before the core can be reached. If a child is an onion, it is just layer after layer of the same thing … but nothing at the core. Some folks may be offended at the analogy, but I think it is very accurate. As much as it distresses me to state it, I believe Amy is an onion. I’m not sure what is underneath the shallow... more

Beth asked me last night while we were rocking and cuddling before bed why she had trouble maintaining eye contact sometimes. I started by telling her what my therapist friend told me when we were at the ATTACh conference last week. He and his therapy partner worked several hours with Dora, and we discussed the fact that Beth could use a “tune up.” His assessment was that Beth knew I loved her, but wasn’t sure why she was lovable.

I started our conversation by addressing Beth’s losses and how those losses affect her willingness to risk... more

Following on the heels of my warm and fuzzy tribute to my warm and fuzzy daughter, tonight I’m going to tell you a story guaranteed to make you sick. My hubby and I wrapped up a couple of hours of serious dialog about serious matters and managed to get the television on in time for the news. The feature story tonight was incomprehensible. Seems a 20-year-old “female” (my husband... more

I am writing this late at night in preparation for dripping it out into cyberspace this morning. We are leaving very early in order to get to Purdue in time for me to clean up a little and then meet and greet my vet school classmates. Of course, I had to pack for me and two girls, so I tossed the packing for the Border collies to my husband! I loaded songs on the new MP3 player I bought Dora (she doesn’t know yet) so she has something to listen to when she and Beth are not watching DVDs or catching up on homework. Not to mention the fact that I am pretty wiped out... more