Tommy arrived at the wedding via planes, trains and automobiles… or close. When he left our home a day early last Christmas (to escape the intimacy) he learned the hard way he had to pay a hundred dollar fine for changing his ticket. So when he booked his flight for the wedding (originating in Kansas City) and then bolted back to Colorado shortly after that (to escape the intimacy) he wasn’t about to pay the fine again… so, he took a bus to Kansas City, a cab from the bus station to the airport, and flew from Kansas to Illinois... more

I’m sorry I haven’t clarified my family constellation adequately… I sure don’t want my readers to wonder who the heck I am talking about!

My husband Larry and I, married 28 years, have two biological and three adopted children. Kyle and Stephanie are the bio kids. Tommy, Amy and Beth are the grafts on the family tree. My previous blog showed Stephanie singing a duet with Sean at Kyle’s wedding. Sean is Stephanie’s boyfriend. Kyle just married Marie, so that makes her the latest graft on the family tree. A beautiful addition she is,... more

Stephanie sang a duet with her boyfriend, Sean. While I have often heard Stephanie belting out a worship song or something from her favorite musical, Wicked, I have not heard her perform in a ceremony as she did Sunday afternoon at the wedding. She and Sean blew us all away. The song was beautiful, their delivery was beautiful, and countless people made a point of telling us how moved they were by the whole performance. I can’t wait to see the wedding video. (Considering that every time I looked up from the dance floor at... more

Words are inadequate to describe the amazing, fabulous, family-focused weekend that I just experienced. My son married the most beautiful woman—beautiful inside and out. The wedding was unbelievable, as was the reception. Many people told us they had never attended a more enjoyable wedding reception.

I am diligently trying to figure out how to type with acrylic fingernails… how the heck do people function with long nails? And my toes have never looked better, complete with flowers painted on the... more

Well, it is finally here… the night before the morning of… Tomorrow bright and early we head off to Illinois for our son’s wedding. I spent the day burning 25 copies of the wedding video, and creating labels and jewel case covers that match. The wedding video begins and ends with a fade between an Adobe Photoshop created “portrait” of the two of them as toddlers and one I took last December. I’ll say one thing… I sure have learned my software more and more each time I create a project of this magnitude! It took me awhile... more

Beth’s first swim meet Saturday night was followed by her first horse show on Sunday. We were all up early (but barely awake) and managed to have the pony loaded into the trailer by a little after 8 AM. Considering our barn has no water and no electricity, and our equipment is scattered all over the place, it was quite a feat preparing for a horse show… even a small, low-key 4-H show!

We started off bathing the pony to eliminate those nasty manure stains on her white legs… and she did great, even though I had no sponge and... more

“No change will occur until the pain of change is less than the pain of no change.”

One of Amy’s many therapists made this statement years ago in reference to the lack of change in her behavior, regardless of the impetus. The axiom seemed to hold true for Beth’s pony this morning as well…

Beth has quite a busy weekend. She had her first swim meet tonight, and she has her first 4-H horse show tomorrow. While she and her dad went off to watch a Chief’s football practice this morning, I headed to our lot to do horse chores and trim her pony, Diamond, for the... more

I am sitting at the kid's computer while my computer is “cooking” one segment of the wedding video. While I spend this time constructively checking in with all of you, I am listening to my husband try to “explain Amy” to Kyle. Amy just left, after “checking in” with us per her Dad’s instructions (read: Demands.) He was absolutely wonderful with her as he talked to her about her requirements for graduation, her current grades, her plan to address her risk of failing a class or two, what percentage it takes to pass, etc. She was clueless—absolutely CLUELESS—about all of those things.

My... more

Although it is a beautiful, almost fall-like day here, and I love to walk, I was sluggish and tired this morning and not very motivated. However Reilly, and to a lesser extent Chance and Lexie suffered under no such limitations… so off we went. I stretched my legs to appease my aching shin splints (four miles a day on pavement and not enough stretching and Advil), stuck a Yanni mini-disk in my recorder and let my mind wander as my feet moved.

Reilly has a flying disk that she just loves… it is a cloth version of a Frisbee... more

I have mentioned before about the concept of measuring positive and negative behaviors on two separate scales. It follows, then, that a child who has positive behaviors, and exhibits reciprocity, and is fun to be around at least some of the time on other people’s terms is a child who is developing healthy relationships—a child who is developing healthy attachments.

One could use the “symptom lists” of attachment issues and... more