Continued from here and here ...

All the time I was talking, this poor young man sat there on the curb, looking so dejected and forlorn. What I had said was so different from what he had been told by Amy. His mom relayed to me in a subsequent phone conversation that this young man had mentioned that I said I loved Amy, but that I seemed at times to be very... more

Continued from here ...

I told him that few kids had experienced the degree of support and effort in and towards their lives that Amy had experienced. I told him that she was no where near willing to pick up the reins for her own life, and if he did, he would one day find himself in the position of having to do exactly what he was fighting so hard against right now … leave her to be responsible for herself … or not …

I gave... more

I had another blog written for tonight and ready to “drip” out but breaking news has preempted that post. Everything I had hoped to avoid is starting to unfold here …

I returned from doing errands today to find a message on my answering machine. “If you are the mother of Amy Spoolstra, or if you can tell me how to find her, would you please call me back?” With great trepidation (something I realized I hadn’t felt for over a year and hadn’t missed at all) I called the number. It was a mom … a very worried mom. Seems her 21-year-old son moved in... more

Last night I fixed one of our family favorites for dinner … barbecued pork on the grill. Although little in life ever revved Amy’s motor, I would have to say that eating this particular meal probably came the closest to getting a reaction. Not enough that it ever had any motivating capability, but I do think it was “pleasurable” to her in whatever sense she defines that word. So as I was preparing it, I thought of her … of the dialog and commenting that has been occurring on this blog about her lack of responsibility for her life,... more

I think it is only fitting that I add a post script to this series of blogs by telling you about seeing Amy yesterday. I haven’t seen her since May, nor heard from her. Apparently she has changed her phone number, but I wasn’t told. That’s fine, she’s not the first one of my kids to do that.

As I mentioned previously, she hadn’t paid a nickel of rent since taking up residence in her apartment last September. The first six months rent were paid in advance, as arranged by my husband, using money we made her save (direct... more

I played catch up all day after the conference, trying to do mounds of laundry, put ATN money in the bank, drop off and pick up Stephanie from work (her car was in the shop) and for the last two hours, talk to two moms. Here it is after dinner and this is the very first chance I have had to sit down and blog. Earlier today I did a three-way call with a contact I made at the NACAC conference and one of his friends (a woman I met several years ago), and on that call I ranted and raged about families not getting services and families... more

Beth was quite the hit at the NACAC conference last week. She was outgoing and charming without being manipulative. She had most of the other exhibitors eating out of her hand, and showed me on the plane ride home the light-up pin given to her by “the Pin Man”. At a reception held on Thursday night, she played pool with a couple of “older” boys, and proudly informed her dad via telephone that she won one game! In response to his question of “How many games did you play?” she didn’t hesitate to say, “Twenty!” The next day, even more... more

Yesterday my mom hopped a flight back to Colorado a few hours before Beth and I flew to Tampa for the North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC) conference. Mom and I had been together for over a week. All in all we did OK with that much togetherness.

She listened more attentively and was less surprised about the prospect of us adding another child than I thought she would be. She says nothing surprises her any more. Touché!

Mom ended up being witness to one of Beth’s... more

Several of you have inquired about Beth’s response to the concept that our family would add another child. Her input is vital. The very last thing I want to do is completely upset her equilibrium. However, having said that, I also think she is somewhat falling into a Princess mode and it might not be a horrible idea for her to have a sibling more her age. She obviously isn’t an only child right now, but she is clearly the youngest. She is essentially... more

In the past few blogs, I have been sharing with you my family’s foray into the possibility of another adoption … a child disrupting from another family.

I mentioned in this post about Tyler, a young man from the Ukraine who spent 3 months with us before I found him the perfect placement … where he is thriving, enjoying his Ukrainian big brother and other multi-ethnic sibs, and learning what operating in a family is all about.... more