I have been writing about the unfolding of a situation in my personal life that has a high probability of resulting in another placement in my family. I have been in regular communication with a family who is disrupting a child. While I was most definitely not looking for another child, the circumstances in this situation are unique and I am not closing the door to the possibility.

In this... more

Part One

In my last post, I told you some exciting news. My family is slowly, carefully, methodically moving forward with considering another placement. This is not something we were looking for, but … sometimes the most awesome things in life are not events or situations you planned for …

I was contacted by a mom needing advice and assistance for her family. This is not unusual, as I receive these kinds of requests more often... more

Sometime soon, I am scheduled to talk to yet another mom about disruption. This mom needs support after the fact. Some families need support in making a decision. Some have already decided to move forward with disruption and need assistance about how to make it happen, and then they need post-disruption support. I have had personal experience with disruption, on both sides of the equation. My family has both disrupted a placement and adopted a child who disrupted from her first placement (Beth). I have acted... more

I am writing this from a hotel room in Tennessee, while my aging mom sleeps (Parkinson’s disease slows her down) and in between visits to my mom’s cousin and his wife who are wasting away by millimeters in a marginal nursing home here in Tennessee. These are folks who never had kids, but who would have made great parents. Fred has Parkinson’s as well, and is intermittently “with it” and not. Irene has been bed-ridden for months, is losing her hearing, and is far less with it than she was when we last made this long trip.

I... more

A reader just asked me why I articulate, and apparently feel, more negativity towards Amy than Tommy, given that Tommy didn’t embrace the family either. It is an excellent question and one I partially answered on the comment itself, but one I think I’d like to explore further.

The answer I gave after the reader’s comment essentially says I spent over 15 years struggling on a 24/7 basis to build a relationship with Amy, and less... more

One of the comments on my previous post (about how hard it can be to maintain a loving attitude) was about a 3½ year old child “monitoring” the older RAD child. And that same comment talked about how the mom paid if she let her guard down for one moment; how the child had zero comprehension about giving back to the family (but rather expected to be waited on hand and foot) even though he had spent all his life in that... more

In my next post I’ll get back to my vision for ATN, but for now I want to share a conversation I had with Beth today before we both crashed for a much-needed nap. Bear in mind she was exhausted so she was even more emotionally fragile, but still, what she said was incredible …

She attended camp last week with a neighborhood friend and classmate. Apparently they had some difficulties, as they discovered that living with... more

I picked Beth up at camp this morning … I feel complete again! She’s tired and badly in need of a bath, but can’t take one until the plumber gets here and fixes our not-yet-a-year-old sump pump that quit and has caused flooding in our basement. Sigh … that same basement that is nearly (but not quite) finished on one side and piled high with stuff we have yet to unpack on the other side. Piled high is the key word right now, as we have stacked everything on top of everything else. Just what I wanted to do on my Saturday afternoon.

Beth... more

Kelly and I had lunch today with my friend Kathy. Kathy was one of three other moms who had a hand in starting ATN. Kathy’s contribution was by far the most significant of the three. (She's wearing the blue shorts.) Kathy was the worker behind the scenes. She mailed out lots of informational packets and helped develop our fledgling database.

I was connected with her through our therapist who had always wanted to get a local support group going. One of the other two moms, "Linda", was also... more

Tonight was “cowgirls night in”. While I was in Colorado last month, I found this game that sounded like tons of fun. It is called Cowgirls Ride the Trail of Truth and it is a board game played only by women, moving horses along the game board, answering questions and acquiring a saddle, boots, spurs, hat, steer head, and a gun. The first one to the end of the board who has all the acquisitions wins the game. Along the way you answer questions, much like Trivial... more