I just received a phone call from my son in his residential treatment center. He is singing a familiar tune that goes “It’s not my fault.”

If you are the parent of a child with attachment issues, you are very familiar with this tune. Everyone is at fault but your child. I have heard this tune in so many forms it doesn’t even phase me anymore. I don’t even argue about it because it is pointless.

Last weekend Sammy received two days of restriction at the treatment center because, “Some of the other residents said I had a bad attitude while I was working.”... more

Someone once asked me how I felt about “good enough parenting.”

Some days I feel that I am a really good parent, I love spending time with my kids, we laugh, have fun and are just regular people.

There are other days, and we all have them, when we are stressed and just want to be left alone. These are the days when good enough parenting comes in.

Maybe you pop a frozen pizza in instead of cooking a meal complete with all four food groups. Maybe you let the kids zone out in front of the T.V. instead of reading. Maybe you send them off to bed without... more

Nancy Thomas is a mother who adopted emotionally disturbed children. She was, and sometimes still is, a respite provider for emotionally disturbed children. She has written books about her work with children, and she has worked with thousands of parents to help their children heal from their emotional damage and be able to attach to their parents. All of this has brought criticism.

I was first introduced to Nancy Thomas when our attachment therapist gave me a copy of her book, “When Love is Not Enough” and I was mesmerized. While reading the book I felt... more

Yesterday was spent traveling home to Kansas after my endoscopic surgical procedure in Indianapolis. I awoke this morning at 5 AM with a migraine—no surprise there, after general anesthetic, a little extra stress (although I wasn’t really worried about this at all) and a completely out-of-sync sleep schedule. My throat still hurts but it is better. I had dinner with my doctor the day after my surgery (he's a long time friend), and he mentioned he wasn’t sure the big tube... more

Even though this is a three-day weekend, today being MLK day, I haven’t had a chance to crack Andrew Bridge’s new book, Hope’s Boy. I took Beth and her friend roller-skating today and managed to burn about 600 calories myself. The dogs didn't care that I already had my exercise, so we walked our usual two miles when I returned home. I’m tired! Kyle and Marie had dinner with us both Saturday and Sunday evening, and of course, there was food preparation to do. Another 4-5 hours on my chaotic basement went a long way towards restoring order,... more

A few days ago, the public elementary school that Dora attends hosted its quarterly skating party. Beth loves to attend, for it provides an opportunity for her to see her old classmates. However, as we hopped in the car to pick Dora up at school and head to the skating rink, Beth commented on how “homeschooling is where (she) should be!” She and I both love this new arrangement. It has exceeded our expectations.

But this blog isn’t about homeschooling. It is about a conversation I had with my neighbor whose kids were also at the skating party. This neighbor has a daughter... more

Recently I blogged about the Dutch diplomat and how he and his wife are placing their adopted daughter back into the care of social services. A reader commented about “parenting in a fishbowl” and how difficult it was to raise these children in relative anonymity, much less with the whole world watching. I remember a family that contacted me years ago—a pastor of a small town church, his wife and their three sons. The oldest was a “healthy white infant placement” and... more

Merry Christmas to everyone! I haven’t posted in several days, and yet I find time to post on Christmas day? What’s up with that?

Well, we had our Christmas two days ago, prior to Kyle and Marie heading north to spend Christmas with her family. Steph went with them, as she is spending this time with her boyfriend and his family. That leaves the old folks and the really young folks. I must say, I am quite happy being "off duty" today and just munching our many leftovers, watching television, and doing nothing! It didn't help that I awoke with a headache (the "coming down from stress"... more

Julie Fuller blogged about losing Christmas presents for unacceptable behavior, and this really rang a chime with me. I just had to comment on this …

I know of a family who had a child who never, ever participated in birthday or Christmas gift exchanges. In fact, the family used to joke about the fact that as they were all sitting down for the birthday dinner, this child would run to the computer and quickly print off a generic birthday card, signed on the computer. Literally... more

Dora’s good mood continued after school today, significantly bolstered by her being one of ten kids (out of 24) who will advance to the next level of the spelling bee. She joined us on a walk, enjoying a few inches of snow, and right now, she and Beth are making all kinds of noise as they set the table and make drinks for dinner.

Remember that I mentioned Kaleidoscope in a previous blog? Kaleidoscope is a cool kid’s “playground” created and maintained by Hallmark cards. There are... more