Dora had the best day yesterday that she has had in a long while. As I mentioned previously, she was much more relaxed after purging her feelings while moving manure. We had a good talk during our rocking time that evening, and apparently, she listened. Among other things, I told her there was no way around the pain … only through it. Face it, deal with it, move past it … or live indefinitely with it unsuccessfully buried somewhere within. I also told her for every day she considered her options but did nothing,... more

Dora completed her required bags of manure last night and came inside much calmer and more relaxed. She cleaned up and joined me in the “lower level” while I worked at arranging new furniture and completing the transformation from "unfinished basement" to family room.

One of the boxes I retrieved from the unfinished side of the basement contained the Cabbage Patch dolls that once occupied a space in our rec room, but were stashed in a box for several years due to frequent moves. These dolls represent my kids: Kyle and Steph, Tommy and Amy, Beth, and Big Amanda,... more

I was going to talk about Missouri foster care abuses today, but I have delayed that until later this week. Today I thought I’d give you another report on Dora, still struggling after my being gone last weekend and struggling in general about what she wants to do (or not do) with her life.

What she’d really like to do is leap into Beth’s life, without all the work or bother that goes with it. She will readily admit that she has given nothing back in the past three months, and that the things she did around the house to “give back” while she was honeymooning... more

I’m on my way to Minnesota this morning to spend the weekend with Stephanie. Her 21st birthday is December 4th. My hubby will be managing things at home, which includes therapy for Dora today and Beth’s Division II Championship swim meet both days this weekend. I hate to miss the meet, but I want to spend the weekend with Steph and I have yet to figure out how to be two places at once.

I can’t believe it has been 21 years since Steph made her appearance. My birthday is three weeks after hers … I was almost 30 when she was born. Not too hard to do the math, is... more

Notwithstanding the fact that I have been trying really hard to drop a few pounds, I have eaten like a rescued refugee these past few days. Everything we ate for dinner tonight was already blessed once.

I spent all day dragging up Christmas decorations and putting up my Snow Village ceramic houses. I was going to brave Black Friday like Julie did, but when I woke up it just didn’t seem like a good idea. I shopped from my computer instead! Much, much easier.

It... more

Bipette, the reader who is struggling with an unofficial foster son, wrote a poignant comment in response to my last post. I’d like to address some of her questions and thoughts.

This giving, nurturing mom is struggling mightily with the concept of being a “hard to get” mom and not chasing this boy in her zeal to get him to commit to the family. It is important to remember that I... more

Today is Beth’s birthday. She's 11 years old. She’s upstairs doing a little schoolwork today, and then we are off to get our nails done. After that it’s lunch at Panera (she likes soup in a bread bowl) and then we will come home and feed the dogs and put a loaf of bread in the bread machine to go with the Crock Pot Beef we’re having for dinner, at her request. What she doesn’t know is that we will then go see Martian Child before I drop her off at the Parks and Recreation Home Alone class at 4 PM. We’ll all celebrate... more

Today was another exciting day for young Dora. After missing the bus yesterday, she was determined not to repeat that mistake today. However, either her haste or her anger worked against her this morning. She did a lousy job on her morning chores, and left her glasses at home today. I think the latter was most likely premeditated, as this is by no means the first time those glasses have not been doing her any good.

I didn’t notice the missing glasses when she left this morning (I think I was supposed to!) but I did notice as she disembarked the bus. I... more

My life these days seems to be a relative state of tired. Am I totally exhausted, partially exhausted, or just in my usual coma? Tonight I am totally exhausted, approaching comatose. I think a Calgon experience is in my future tonight. Tomorrow I have my massage scheduled. It was supposed to coincide with a Parks and Recreation class for Beth, but that class was canceled due to not enough kids. I’m not sure what I will do with Beth …

Good thing it wasn’t today or I would... more

Recently, a reader who is struggling with the difficulties of reaching out to a troubled teen boy had these questions on her mind:

When and how do you decide they aren't going to change? When do you give up? How do you measure progress?

Do I keep trying as long as he doesn't leave our home and assume that if he stays he's wanting to work on it?

How do you know that a child is like Cindy or Kathy and just won't ever choose to give... more