The weather is just wonderful here today, as we are now getting pelted with ice. Kansas City is known for some serious ice storms, sometimes with power outages all across the city. Just yesterday it was 70-something…

I thought it was about time I actually talked about attachment specifically, instead of pontificating about general stuff. One of the topics on ADN’s listserves of late has been about “flat RAD’s”—the kids who are just zombies, or passive/aggressive all the time, showing little or no emotion or motivation or anything.... more

I am finally able to catch a few moments to sit down and blog. I returned late Friday night from the ATTACh conference in St. Louis. Saturday morning I had my 3 hour photography class and I could barely keep my eyes open. Were it not for the fact that I bring my laptop and LCD projector to show everyone’s digital photos for class, I would have considered skipping the class. But I was there physically at least.

Saturday afternoon I crashed for a short nap and then checked out all the cool things that were done on our house... more

Recently I posted my thoughts about how discouraged I was about the lack of change in my daughter Amy over the past almost-two-decades. One mom even accused me of “stealing her hope”. Other readers pointed out how it was not in my power to take away anyone’s hope…but it was an emotional online debate.

When I started ADN, it was founded on the premise that my feelings were my feelings, whether they were politically correct or not. And it was my brutal honesty that spoke to other parents from the very beginning. I don’t want to... more

It is so incredibly interesting to me how defensive some folks get when someone else describes how they feel… their reality. A recent comment on my last post declares that I write about my daughter with disdain. Not disdain, sadness. Frustration, even. Major frustration. Frustration born of many lost hopes and dreams. Frustration that a young woman with so much potential has wasted and lost an entire childhood, and is about to embark on what quite possibly will unfold to be an equally wasted and lost adulthood.... more

Depression hurts everyone. Have you seen that commercial? The one where the Weimaraner dog drops the tennis ball and looks sad, and the little girl looks neglected, and the spouse looks ignored? And the depressed person is crashed on the bed? The commercial keeps repeating, “Depression hurts everyone.” The message of the commercial is… GET SOME HELP. Your problem is becoming everyone else’s problem!

If someone had told me twenty years ago that a child could and would come into my home,... more

Burn out. We live it, we breath it, we define it. We give, give, give and often are met with take, take, take. A good day is when your emotionally disturbed child is neutral… Never mind anything positive coming back. A normal day is when they sabotage, manipulate and attempt to ruin anything fun or positive happening around them. Or maybe they don’t overtly attempt to undermine fun family dynamics, but they are the yoke around the neck of the family just by their negativism and uncooperative... more

One of the many e-newsletters I receive is the National Resource Center for Family-Centered Practice and Permanency Planning weekly update.

One item and website link mentioned recently is titled:

Caring for Their Children's Children: Assessing the Mental Health Needs and Service Experiences of Grandparent Caregiver Families

This report from Chapin Hall Center for Children at the University of Chicago... more

Although it is eleven months away, things are starting to roll for the Attachment Disorder Network’s second annual conference. It will be here in Kansas City next August 1-4. We will have pre-conference institutes… longer workshops with some well known folks. Foster Cline, Deborah Hage, Katherine Leslie and Nancy Ashe have all agreed to speak. We will be putting out a Call for Proposals shortly. We will also have early bird registration discounts and other incentives to encourage you to commit as early as possible, so we can better plan the event.... more

I received the following comment on a recent post:

Your struggle with Amy has shown me that I am worrying too much about what people think about my parenting and my daughter's attachment challenges.

I have been thinking about that comment for several days now. I can’t get it out of my mind…. And there is a LOT of other stuff cluttering my mind…. So it must mean I am “supposed” to blog about it.

What people think. That’s a big one, isn’t it? That is a... more

This isn’t the Christian adoption blog, but for today the boundaries may be a bit blurry. My apologies if this is a problem for anyone...

A few weeks ago I started attending the Disciple Bible study through my church. I am not sure I realized the time commitment I was making, but I’m going to make the time.

This morning we talked about relationships… we are looking at Genesis, the creation of the universe, and the creation of humanity. We talked about God’s unconditional... more