The other day I spoke with a mom on the phone who had adopted sibs from Eastern Europe. One child was doing fine, but the other one was not. The older child was in respite at a home that “sort of” understood the dynamics, but not really. This child has threatened mom’s life, in the presence of Dad, and Mom was still shouldering 200% of the burden for making big decisions about the boy’s future and the family’s future. Like so many moms before her, she was in tears on the phone. In one of her emails to me, she said:

When... more

I am writing this from a hotel room in Tennessee, while my aging mom sleeps (Parkinson’s disease slows her down) and in between visits to my mom’s cousin and his wife who are wasting away by millimeters in a marginal nursing home here in Tennessee. These are folks who never had kids, but who would have made great parents. Fred has Parkinson’s as well, and is intermittently “with it” and not. Irene has been bed-ridden for months, is losing her hearing, and is far less with it than she was when we last made this long trip.

I... more

Part of my job as writer of this blog is to bring to your attention articles like the series I posted over the last few days. I have access to all kinds of articles like that. But you know, those are my least favorite blogs to write. Sometimes they seem boring to me, and yet there really is a great deal of pertinent information out there that could be shared.

Isn’t it interesting, though, that the comments... more

One of the comments on my previous post (about how hard it can be to maintain a loving attitude) was about a 3½ year old child “monitoring” the older RAD child. And that same comment talked about how the mom paid if she let her guard down for one moment; how the child had zero comprehension about giving back to the family (but rather expected to be waited on hand and foot) even though he had spent all his life in that... more

Continuing with my “assignment” to describe my vision for ATN … I started by talking about educating the uneducated. I stated how difficult it will be for us to create appropriate, affordable and accessible resources and support if those in charge of providing those services don’t understand our lives or our family dynamics.

Here’s another aspiration for this organization … how’s about that it is financially self-supporting? My... more

Continuing on from my description of the original four moms that conceived of the organization that eventually became ATN, and from my distaste of the business of business, I’d like to see if I can put into words my vision for ATN going forward.

Since this organization sprang from my experiences and my realization that services... more

When I was a practicing veterinarian, I had no aspirations to own my own practice. It occurred to me how out-of-character that was for me in some ways, because I have always been assertive and a go-getter. But I had no desire to order drugs or hire and fire employees, or pay light bills and deal with water in the basement of a clinic. I just wanted to see clients, treat pets, and have the drugs in the cabinet when I needed them!

So it was when I started ATN. I was far more interested in the service... more

Kelly and I had lunch today with my friend Kathy. Kathy was one of three other moms who had a hand in starting ATN. Kathy’s contribution was by far the most significant of the three. (She's wearing the blue shorts.) Kathy was the worker behind the scenes. She mailed out lots of informational packets and helped develop our fledgling database.

I was connected with her through our therapist who had always wanted to get a local support group going. One of the other two moms, "Linda", was also... more

I have had an absolutely insane day. One of those days when I went from one phone line to the other, thankful that Kelly is here to answer the ATN line as I am beeping through calls on the other line.

Kelly and I spent most of the day at the Elms Resort, the location for our upcoming conference. We met another ATN staff member there, and Kelly and (the other) Nancy agreed I did OK in picking a nice place! We drove the hour back home and took pictures of the trainer riding Beth’s pony... more

Tonight was “cowgirls night in”. While I was in Colorado last month, I found this game that sounded like tons of fun. It is called Cowgirls Ride the Trail of Truth and it is a board game played only by women, moving horses along the game board, answering questions and acquiring a saddle, boots, spurs, hat, steer head, and a gun. The first one to the end of the board who has all the acquisitions wins the game. Along the way you answer questions, much like Trivial... more