In the last several posts, I have been discussing the dynamics in our families that result in crisis situations. Some of the information has been drawn from Jodee Kulp’s book Families at Risk, and some has been from my own experiences. In this post I’d like to examine why parents are reticent to ask for help.

Sometimes, families simply don’t know how truly pathological their situation has become. In their effort to deal with... more

There is a plethora of wisdom in Jodee Kulp’s book, Families at Risk: A guide to understanding and protecting children and providers involved in out-of-home or adoptive care. In this post, I am going to share with you some of her thoughts on when it is understandable and desirable that you ask for help.

She starts off by quoting an “oldie but goodie” article published in July 1961 by Indiana University (my arch rival as a Purdue grad!) titled, Teacher’s Handling of Children... more

As I mentioned in my previous blog, last Friday night I enjoyed the company of a dozen other folks who live with and love kids with serious attachment issues. We met at a restaurant in Gurnee, Illinois. As I looked around the table at the folks that had gathered, I marveled at the realization that it was because of ATN that we were gathered together. How cool is that? I am thrilled that my little grass-roots effort has expanded... more

When I wrote this blog, it was 3 AM this morning and I was tooling along Interstate 35 in Des Moines. Not to worry, I wasn’t driving while typing… my husband of 29 years was at the wheel. Twenty nine years today, as a matter of fact.

We left on Friday and drove 600+ miles to Gurnee, Illinois where we used to live. On Friday night we gathered at Olive Garden with a dozen other ATN parents. More on that later…

This was a “wedding weekend.” On Saturday afternoon we attended the wedding of a high school friend of Kyle... more

My blood pressure is about double right now and I need some feedback. Let me explain…

Tonight was our foreign exchange student’s choir show. Julie did a great job and I was there to videotape and watch the senior class’s special tribute. After the show, everyone headed to the foyer to connect up with their students. Who should spy me first but Amy? Amy was there for a friend of hers… a girl she met last spring semester when Amy attended school. In fact, Amy spent a month with this girl’s family when her time with... more

I spent about 4 hours last night and this morning setting up a digital photo frame I purchased for my mom for Mother’s Day. (It’s a safe bet she’s not reading my blog regularly… turning on the computer can still be a bit of a challenge for her on some days…) I have pictures loaded and I am going to send it “ready to plug in and play”. I can add more pictures using my laptop or digital memory cards when we visit in the future. This picture of her is one of them that I put in the digital frame.

Mother’s Day is, as I mentioned previously,... more

In my previous post I mentioned Beatitude House, an attachment program located in North Carolina. A booklet created by Fawn and Matthew Bradley entitled Had we known then what we know now… addresses the disparity between expectations and reality that often occurs when one adds a traumatized child to one’s family.

One section in this booklet quotes many parents as having stated:

We would have felt less isolated if we had found professionals... more

I think my favorite holiday of the year has to be Mother’s Day. It’s great to be acknowledged on your birthday, and Christmas is a fabulous holiday, both spiritually and in terms of family sharing. But Mother’s Day is the day we moms get to be honored for our role in shaping young lives. I absolutely love being a Mom and consider this to be my greatest contribution during my lifetime. I have no problems intertwining my identity with my role as someone’s mom. There’s a bumper sticker sitting on my desk that says “Significant Mother”!

The... more

I’ve been debating what to write about this week. I have a plethora of articles and books tucked away from which I can draw content. I’m trying to pull out of my brain my favorite therapeutic parenting techniques to share with you. I will do that… stay tuned. But I think my favorite topic to write about on this blog is just a daily dose of “I get it… I know how you feel. You are not alone in this difficult journey.”

I am compelled to do that because that is SO what I needed when I was living every day with tough... more

I am saddened this morning… I had a mom request information about Nancy Thomas camps. I think Nancy does amazing work, so I was happy to provide more information.

Her children’s therapist had recommended that this family attend a Nancy Thomas camp. This mom was doing her homework and asked if anyone had been to one of the camps. I arranged for two families who had attended to email her. I don’t know if they had a chance to communicate with her or not, but on the message board... more