As I mentioned previously, I read An Unlit Path in two installments… the first one in the car, using a penlight, on the way home from Chicago last weekend, and the second one late Monday night when I should have been catching up on my sleep from a grueling weekend! In between those two opportunities to read, I scoped out Deborah Hannah’s website. The picture you see here shows Deb, her husband Joe, and five kids. Hmmmnn, I thought, I am reading about a family that has four biological kids, an... more

OK, where shall I start with my review of An Unlit Path? Cindy Bodie blogged about it here. And her stellar review prompted me to get the book off my shelf, where it had lain since I received it last fall, in the midst of the complete and utter chaos of a household move.

I hardly know where to start… and I am so rarely at a loss for words. Deborah captured the roller coaster ride of living with emotionally disturbed children in a way I have not... more

Argghhh! To say this was another crazy day would be the understatement of the century. Hardly anything I planned to do got done…. But that is not to say it hasn’t been a productive day. It is horribly cold here, so walking just doesn’t seem appealing, not to mention since I didn’t stretch yesterday before doing my 4+ miles, my shins are screaming today… This is the first time…late in the afternoon…that I have had a moment to blog.

I started the day by having a telephone conversation with the therapist that prompted me... more

A long time ago I complained to a friend of mine that my schedule for the day was shot, thanks to all the unexpected things that life tends to throw your way. And my friend responded… “That’s what you get for making a schedule!” I have thought of that so many times.

Well, today was one of those days. I have had a box of pictures sitting on my entry way floor for weeks, waiting to be hung on the bare walls. I keep thinking, “Today will be the day.” But thus far, that “today” has not come.

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I thought I was done with my “It can’t be all the parents’ fault” rant, but I guess I’m not. My family is on a road trip this weekend. Since I am a captive audience in the car, I like to catch up with folks on the phone. I learned during my nine hour drive to Illinois yesterday that one of ADN’s moms was taken to task by her therapist for having had an emotional (albeit a bit over-the-top) reaction to something her child did. And then the therapist proceeded to tell her that if this mom didn’t hang out with all those negative... more

Katherine Leslie’s comments generated a great deal of feedback as well as some fodder for thinking about things a little differently… Like many of you, I have been processing her views. I continued that processing as I engaged in my morning ritual with Reilly, one of my two Border collies. She sleeps next to me, and every night before we go to sleep, and every morning when the alarm first wakes us up, we have a “love-in”. She gets her tummy rubbed, she groans, she stretches, she just... more

This is going to be a “hodgepodge” post where I just wrap up some “stuff” that I have addressed of late.

For starters, minutes after I posted my last blog, fellow blogger Holly Richardson posted how she was motivated to join ADN because she was “swimming not just alone, but with a bunch of sharks who are SURE it's all my fault, cause dang, those kids are so CUTE!” This comment immediately brought to mind the Focus on the Family presentation... more

Part 8 in a series

Continuing with the series about parental issues vs. children’s issues… there is so much that floods my brain when I contemplate this. Underscoring this entire subject is the fact that no one understands this life unless they are living it! No one!

My good friend Julie and I have had many, many discussions about this. Julie was telling me about the sermon she heard in church last weekend. The pastor... more

Part 7 in a series

"Guest" blogger Katherine Leslie, PhD

I think that many therapists are not realizing that parents of these children are traumatized. The therapist may say, "But the parent's life is not being threatened therefore it is not a trauma." Or, "The parent needs to rise above his own hurt feelings." However, the definition of trauma in the DSM includes threat to physical or psychological integrity of self... more

Part 6 in a series Continuing with "guest blogger" Katherine Leslie, and her thoughts on the "issues" and feelings of those parenting traumatized children...

Another consideration is what's called the "second arrow" effect. The first arrow is your "bad" behavior. The second arrow is how you punish yourself for launching the first arrow. For example, I have an adult client who is working on a rape trauma. Most of us might assume that the act of the rape was the worst part... more