Completing my series covering my interview with Andrew Bridge, author of Hope’s Boy, I asked Andrew how he felt a child’s individual choices influenced the child’s trajectory. Here is Andrew’s response:

I don’t know how to answer that question. I can tell you that my gut says we spend far too much time pathologizing children rather than looking for their strengths and what they can do. I am usually critical of large congregate care (group homes) especially for younger kids. I actually... more

I ended my previous post about Andrew Bridge by stating that his mom had, in spite of her mental illness, managed to instill in Andrew a hope for future possibilities. She clearly did some things right. Andrew agreed, for he had this to say:

There had to have been love and attachment in those early years. I did things I see other kids who grew up in foster care struggling so hard to do and not getting. In my heart of hearts, I know there were things... more

Continuing with my series on my recent interview with Andrew Bridge and my discussion of his about-to-be-released book, Hope’s Boy, I asked Andrew about one quote from his book that leapt off the page at me …

With only a bit more from Mrs. Leonard (his foster mom), I might have claimed her as my own. I might have surrendered Hope entirely.

(Hope is the name of Andrew's birthmother.) Andrew spent ten years in a foster home where he was always “the outsider”. He... more

Kyle and Marie, my son and daughter-in-law, were here this weekend. We spent Saturday at a unique kind of reunion … folks who had adopted Border collies through the rescue group where we found our dog Ben. It was a sea of black and white, with one Golden Retriever pup running around as well. I was talking with one gal who was talking about her dog, and when she mentioned the electric perimeter fence she used to contain her dog in her yard at home, she lowered her voice. “Is that a no-no around here?” I inquired. “Yes,” she said. “Most folks around here don’t like any... more

In the last post I listed four different categories of therapists or social workers as described by Foster Cline. I closed by promising to share Foster’s thoughts on how to differentiate between a good therapist who appears abusive and an abusive person who works as a therapist.

Foster lists the following suggestions for assessing a therapist:

• Assess the therapist’s home life and family. If they are married,... more

In this post I was discussing Foster Cline’s views about the types of individuals who work with abused children. Foster divides therapists and social workers into four categories:

Abusive individuals who appear abusive: This is the most easily identified of the four types of individuals. According... more

Foster Cline was a pioneer in working with disturbed children. Last year I interviewed Foster and Russ Colburn and described their collective perspectives of how things have changed over the years. Foster will volunteer that he thinks some people in the attachment/adoption community view him more as a liability than an asset these days. I never have understood that. Foster would be the first to acknowledge that attachment... more

After driving all day, we returned Thursday evening from Colorado. It was 34 degrees, windy and very winter-like when we left in the morning. It was 88 degrees driving across the prairie.

I just had to share these chipmunk pictures with you. This is a tradition in my family. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say this is a tradition for me … I have loved photography for years and I always take the kids to ride a tram to the top of this mountain in Estes and feed the chipmunks. If you go in July, the critters are so fat... more

In the series of posts I just completed, I discussed our purpose in parenting our challenging children, and how we should best measure our success. Being satisfied that the gift is in the giving is a very, very difficult concept to absorb, but it really is true. It is an easy concept when one thinks about more accepted areas of giving, like Christmas or birthdays. As children mature into adults, most of them learn that the true joy of Christmas or other... more

In this post I mentioned the fact that Deb Hannah’s daughter framed her time in college by the events surrounding her troubled adoptive siblings. She started college at the peak of a family crisis, and graduated the day after the last of five troubled children left the family. The fact that Deb’s healthy children’s lives were so affected by the unhealthy children is one of... more