How did your reality differ from your perception of how this "adventure" would play out?

My perception was one of youth and naiveté. I knew I was a good mom, Joe was a good dad, we had a loving family and so I believed if I just loved these children enough—that would be everything we needed. I am a Christian so I also believed that God would supply our needs and offer us protection. I had no doubts—no reservations, just innocence and enthusiasm.

What was the impact... more

What could have been done differently to change your journey and your outcome? (Not what YOU could have done, but what OTHERS could have done.)

I stand by the fact that training — both pre-service and ongoing as well as long term post-adoption support would have made all the difference. I wish I had known about RAD — the risks involved — where to go to get help and what to do if that help was ineffective. I wish I would have learned the likelihood of false allegations and why they occur. I wish I had known where to go... more

This will be the first in a series of blogs containing questions I asked Deborah Hannah about why she wrote her book about living with emotionally disturbed children, and the responses she has received. Again, I encourage you to get this book if you haven't already done so! (See my review.)

What prompted you to write the book?

There were actually several different reasons;... more

I think kids who will never be comfortable with intimate family dynamics often do best in very large families or even in group homes where family life is less one-on-one than traditional families. Of course, the ideal is to take an intimacy-fearing child and show them the error of their ways, and teach them the myriad of perks that come when they open their heart to love. But as we all know, that doesn’t always happen.

Even Cindy Bodie, earth mama to a bazillion... more

As I lay awake for the umpteenth time in the wee hours of this morning, listening to Gracie holler and bark, I found myself processing my conversation with Deb Hannah yesterday. All my conversations with Deb result in massive processing afterwards. She and I have lived uncannily parallel lives, and it is weird to hear my thoughts and my feelings and my experiences coming out of someone else’s mouth! The thing is, we both know it isn't just us that have had the same experiences.... there are many of you out there, aren't there?

One... more

Continuing along the lines of predicting our children’s choices and/or investing indefinitely into their future, Deb Hannah provided a classic example of seeing what lies ahead for our children and yet being powerless to do anything about it. At the risk of “spilling the beans” on her book (you MUST read it!) Deb has had long and arduous interactions with her local juvenile justice system because of some of her kids. She shared with me some of the inner workings of the system… creative and effective... more

Man, I guess I’m not 30 anymore. No duh, Sherlock, right? I hit the wall today and I am just so tired. I hate it when I have no energy and no motivation to do anything productive. I truly can’t imagine what it would be like to live my entire life unmotivated, uncaring and uninvolved. It has always been so difficult for me to have any comprehension of how some of our kids can live their lives in such a flatline state.

One of the many great topics I covered in my conversation with Deb Hannah... more

Today was one of those days when I didn’t stop running from one thing to another. My sick Rottie is feeling sicker thanks to the meds that are supposed to make her feel better. I had a carpet cleaner come today to address the devastation left by a vomiting Rottie (after I spent an obscene amount of time this morning trying to clean up numerous spots myself.) She ralphed again an hour after he left… sigh. We went from 70 degree weather yesterday to gale force winds and high 30’s today, and flash floods last night. I finally got... more

Part One Part Two Part Three

Midway through my story, the pastor asked me directly… “What part does God play in all of this?” I have had that question posed to me quite frequently of late…

I spoke with a struggling mom last week... more

Part One Part Two

My bottom-line goal for meeting with the pastor was to convince her to let me speak to all the congregational care pastors, so they would all be aware of what services were available for struggling foster and adoptive families right here in their own community! I believe that mission was accomplished,... more