Beth was quite the hit at the NACAC conference last week. She was outgoing and charming without being manipulative. She had most of the other exhibitors eating out of her hand, and showed me on the plane ride home the light-up pin given to her by “the Pin Man”. At a reception held on Thursday night, she played pool with a couple of “older” boys, and proudly informed her dad via telephone that she won one game! In response to his question of “How many games did you play?” she didn’t hesitate to say, “Twenty!” The next day, even more... more

Several of you have inquired about Beth’s response to the concept that our family would add another child. Her input is vital. The very last thing I want to do is completely upset her equilibrium. However, having said that, I also think she is somewhat falling into a Princess mode and it might not be a horrible idea for her to have a sibling more her age. She obviously isn’t an only child right now, but she is clearly the youngest. She is essentially... more

In the past few blogs, I have been sharing with you my family’s foray into the possibility of another adoption … a child disrupting from another family.

I mentioned in this post about Tyler, a young man from the Ukraine who spent 3 months with us before I found him the perfect placement … where he is thriving, enjoying his Ukrainian big brother and other multi-ethnic sibs, and learning what operating in a family is all about.... more

I have been writing about the unfolding of a situation in my personal life that has a high probability of resulting in another placement in my family. I have been in regular communication with a family who is disrupting a child. While I was most definitely not looking for another child, the circumstances in this situation are unique and I am not closing the door to the possibility.

In this... more

Continuing with my discussion of disruption, perhaps it would be wise to begin with a definition of “disruption”. Technically, what I am discussing here in terms of this family is a “dissolution”, meaning the legal termination of an adoption that has been legally finalized. A dissolution is to adoption what a divorce is to marriage. A disruption is the termination of a placement that hasn’t been legally finalized, which is actually... more

Part One

In my last post, I told you some exciting news. My family is slowly, carefully, methodically moving forward with considering another placement. This is not something we were looking for, but … sometimes the most awesome things in life are not events or situations you planned for …

I was contacted by a mom needing advice and assistance for her family. This is not unusual, as I receive these kinds of requests more often... more

Sometime soon, I am scheduled to talk to yet another mom about disruption. This mom needs support after the fact. Some families need support in making a decision. Some have already decided to move forward with disruption and need assistance about how to make it happen, and then they need post-disruption support. I have had personal experience with disruption, on both sides of the equation. My family has both disrupted a placement and adopted a child who disrupted from her first placement (Beth). I have acted... more

Tonight’s local news featured a more in depth story about the accused killer of Kelsey Smith, a beautiful 18 year old recent high school graduate who was abducted in daylight hours from Target and killed shortly thereafter. I blogged about it here. The accused killer is Edwin... more

In this post I wrote about the National Center on Fathering, and I received this comment from Brad in response:

3 out of 4 of my adoptive children (a domestic sibling group) have left home and basically "returned" to the birthfather and have "written me off". It is very hard to listen to things like the sermon you mention and be hopeful. Yes, I probably should, but it... more

It seems to me the majority of things I write about are not very uplifting. I guess writing about traumatized and emotionally disturbed kids would probably be considered a rather depressing topic… but it still is a bummer that much of what occurs to me to write about, or much of what happens in my daily life that provides fodder for this blog is material that is not very cheerful.

I receive emails all the time from parents who are contemplating disruption or have made the decision and are looking to re-home their child. I’ve written... more