I was going to give you all a break and move on to something else… but jeezzz, there is so much fodder for blogging in this examination of the Virginia Tech killer. One reader just asked if it was likely we would learn more about his life in high school or earlier. Well, it just so happens I watched some coverage last night that can answer that very question…

Two girls that attended his high school were interviewed, as well as a boy that attended high school with him and also attended Virginia Tech, and another male... more

I apologize if you are tired of me pontificating about the Virginia Tech incident… but I simply am not able to put this behind me just yet. Not from a parental perspective, and not from a child mental health advocacy perspective.

I heard something on the news a few minutes ago that really grabbed my attention. I didn’t catch the commentator’s name (actually it was an “interviewee”) but it was Fox News. The person speaking was a criminal profiler and she was talking about the development... more

A couple of days ago, this story about a young woman who recently died from cancer was featured on the front page of our local paper, the Kansas City Star.

Here’s yet another story about her…

Although as a parent it was a tough read, I found myself quickly drawn into it. The story is about an 18 year old high school senior, Ally, who recently lost her 4 year... more

My final thoughts about my daughter's lying problem center around her thoughts about her lying problem... After asking her why she was lying to me in the first place (and learning about how rampant lying is at school...) I then asked her what she thought about my “chocolate response.” She said she wasn’t going to eat chocolate... more

I have enjoyed and appreciated the feedback I have received on my story about my less-than-truthful daughter. I will share with you her perspective on how things unfolded—and her insight will hopefully cement my position that she is not RAD any longer. She seems to have a good grasp on the issues at hand… But I must also say that the responses that have questioned whether or not I treated the symptom and not the cause would be very valid queries if this story were about Amy. Amy’s issues are all around trust, shame, value, safety,... more

In my ongoing discussion about my 10-year-old daughter’s lying and sneaking candy, I have had a couple of readers comment that I am making the situation worse by drawing attention to it at all. This has most definitely given me food for thought… But my conclusion is… how can this situation change if I do nothing? How can continuing to let her “lie for convenience” teach her responsibility and accountability? And what about the sneaking?... more

In my discussion about my daughter Beth's sneaking candy and lying, I want to make it abundantly clear that the issues here are the sneaking and lying… not an occasional pilfered chocolate Easter egg. This is a pattern that disturbs me and sends some very negative messages. And I need to reiterate this has been occurring, and has been discussed, numerous times in the past… with no change.

Just a few days ago we had a couple of the neighbor kids over after school until their moms could get them. They all picked a snack with... more

Last October I wrote a couple of posts (here and here) about Beth’s problem with lying and my problem with Beth’s problem of lying… Well, we are (or she is) still at it. The second previous post I linked is the story of my last lie as a child... and what it was that had such a profound impact on me that I stopped lying.

Beth was ten last November. When... more

Well, the fur is a’flyin’ over there on the FRUA board. The discussion about potatoes and hot dogs is becoming as hot as the grill on which one could prepare those very same hot dogs…

Apparently my suggestions were interpreted as flat-out punitive, not respectful of the child, and doomed to ignite further control battles. There was even a dig against Nancy Thomas (who I had never mentioned in any capacity) and how my suggestion would likely lead to locking up the refrigerator… Huh? I must be missing something.

The original poster started her question... more

This morning on the FRUA list a mom asked a question that prompted me to write a blog about my answer… This mom’s preschool-aged child would lash out at whoever else was around whenever the little girl made a mistake or a poor choice. Mom was worried this was a harbinger of “It’s not my fault” in the years to come… Another poster recognized this was probably a “blame and shame” issue… the little girl was ashamed of her mistake and therefore redirected ownership—no blame, no shame.

Unfortunately,... more