Nature vs. Nurture

A reader inquired about whether or not Amy would have fared better in another family … someplace other than in my family? Julie addressed that in a recent blog, and she linked several blogs I have written on that same topic: Goodness of fit does matter You want to Cha-Cha, I want to Tango That same reader acknowledged in a comment somewhere along the way on this blog, Julie’s blog or Faith’s blog that she (the reader) was parenting attachment-challenged kids and that she knew that going in … and that she also knew that there was a strong possibility that as the parent, she would receive little or nothing in return for her efforts. I have addressed that… [more]

I once had a conversation with Foster Cline (this photo of him was taken at the ATN conference last week) where I complained to him that I hated how cynical I was becoming sometimes. It can be hard to be optimistic when you see the same thing, day after day after day. For instance, this evening my husband will face the immense pleasure of stopping by Amy’s apartment complex to deal with the current mess of her life. He instructed Amy to stop by any time this week and pay any amount on her $4,000 rent bill. He gives it a 50/50 chance that she will have done so. I give it far less than that. Is that because I am cynical… [more]

I am packing Beth up this morning for a week at YMCA Ranch Hand camp. I retrieve her next Saturday morning. She’s excited, and I think she will do fine. It is me I am worried about! While she has been apart from me for this long before, it has been with me away and her at home. Last year she attended K State Equestrian camp, but it was for 2 nights only. One week was Western and one week was English. She was homesick the second week. The YMCA stipulates no cell phones at camp and they encourage the kids to become independent and not cave in to homesickness. In other words, they can’t be calling home all the time. I get… [more]

In my previous blog, I wrote about five boys who were successfully “incorporated” into a wealthy white family (the Rosen’s) in an “unofficial adoption” capacity. All the boys absorbed the messages given by the Rosen’s, went on to attend college and are more solid citizens because of the influence of these people. I asked the question, why does this work for some kids, even when it is “part time” and “unofficial” when it doesn’t work for other kids who are officially adopted and live with their adoptive parents full time? I have long maintained there are three major factors: genetics, environment, and choices. Let’s start by looking at environment. I believe these five boys got enough positive messages during their time in utero… [more]

I just returned from a field trip with Beth all day today. We visited the Lanesfield School, a one-room Kansas schoolhouse circa 1904. Beth and her class did 4th grade work and the adults—teacher and parents—were the “older students” in 8th grade. We did math on slate boards with dinky little pieces of slate, wrote with pens dipped into inkwells and practiced our penmanship, had a spelling bee (where the “8th graders” went down on “belligerent” and “inaugural”), learned geography and discussed a passage we read, recited poems after the teacher, didn’t speak unless spoken to, had perfect posture with hands on our desks and feet flat on the floor, and played games at recess and had plenty of time to… [more]

My friend Julie sent me this link today… an extensive article in Newsweek about the Virginia Tech shooter, Cho. It is a long and sad read. There are many companion articles, one of which describes the victims. It seems like much more than a week ago that this tragedy occurred. So many families are still in a state of shock, not yet able to grasp the unexpected and violent death that befell their loved one. Another companion article is entitled The Anatomy of Violence. Where do I start in my description of the information contained therein? Perhaps I should start by commenting on how many families on ATN’s listserves, and apparently amongst you readers as well, who are saying, “That… [more]

Last night I picked Beth and the neighbor kids up from school after my neighbor took a header off of one of their horses. (Not a pretty sight, with her face scratched, her whiplash and lower back injuries, and her leg bruised from branches.) Beth informed me bad things come in threes… with the first being this same neighbor’s cat being mauled by a dog, and then our loss of Lexie, and then getting dumped from a recalcitrant horse. My neighbor is always there for me, and it was she who helped me bring Lexie home from the emergency clinic on Sunday. I made dinner for her family last night, and rejoiced at how fortunate I am to have such a good… [more]

My last quotes from the Pyschology textbook relate to a summary statement about the relative roles of nature vs. nurture. The book states: An analogy may help: Genes and environment—nature and nurture—work together like two hands clapping. Genes not only code for particular proteins, they also respond to environments. An African butterfly that is green in summer turns brown in fall, thanks to a temperature-controlled genetic switch. “The genome is giving the butterfly two different choices, two different opportunities. It’s not dictating, ‘You must take this form,’” Gary Marcus (2004) explains. “It’s saying, ‘If you’re in this situation you can take this form, if you’re in this other situation you can take this other form.’” Thus, genes are self-regulating. Rather than acting as blueprints… [more]

If we continue to consider the interrelationship of environment and genetics, the psychology text my foreign exchange student is reading has some interesting points about this dynamic. (This is the eight edition of this text, and has a publication date of 2007.) One particularly interesting segment discusses temperament: An infant’s temperament is its emotional excitability—whether reactive, intense, and fidgety, or easygoing, quiet and placid. From the first weeks of life, difficult babies are more irritable, intense and unpredictable. Easy babies are cheerful, relaxed and predictable in feeding and sleeping. (Chess and Thomas, 1987) • The most emotionally reactive newborns tend also to be the most reactive 9-month-olds (Wilson & Matheny, 1986; Worobey & Blajda, 1989). • Four-month-olds who react to changing scenes with arched back, pumping legs, and… [more]

Part One Since I have been doing a series on nature vs. nurture, it was an interesting coincidence to meet a mom with one biological and one adopted child, and to learn the bio child was the most challenging. Especially given that the adoptee had been identified as special needs, and clearly fit that category based on spending five crucial developmental years in an orphanage. And although I have only briefly met this child, I have to say, I see no red flags. Had I known nothing about her history, my first impression of her would still be overwhelmingly positive. I just like the way she handled herself, her self-assurance and bearing. She had just cut off a bunch of hair to donate… [more]