School

So I gave my seventeen-year-old son the driver's wheel on his high school education. Not because I wanted to, but because what I was doing wasn't working. Supervising him closely and catching all his missing assignments for him to complete just caused him to lie to me and let me be his safety net. With the counselor's agreement, I took my hands off the wheel, and he is succeeding or failing on his own. Initially he became uber-responsible, skipping lunch at Arby's with his friends so that he could go to the library and catch up on work. He came home a week ago saying he no longer had an F in History. I asked him how he managed that. He said he… [more]

When I was young, I had rules in my house that I had to live by…or there would be consequences.  Back in the 1960’s, the consequences were usually a spanking, either with a hand or a wooden spoon, and once I had to eat soap. It’s odd that I don’t think this was unusual when I was little, but I can’t fathom punishing my daughters in this fashion now. As a child of the 60’s, we had order and discipline in our house, right along with every other house on the block.  We didn’t misbehave, we knew how to treat adults with respect, we knew not to argue with our parents and I always knew I had to go home at night… [more]

We have parent/teacher conferences in our school today. These will be routine for Hannah, but a parent who has a child with attachment issues can dread these conferences. I have been through many of them with my son. Chances are you will be faced with one of two things. 1) Your child is extremely charming at school and the teacher will think you are nuts if you try to describe difficulties at home. 2) You will have bobble head syndrome as you nod up and down about all the things your child is trying at school because you are dealing with the same issues at home. Each scenario is equally frustrating. In the first case, your child has shown the school the sweet side that you wish you’d see… [more]

No matter where you live, school is in full swing by now. Some of you have probably gotten nasty letters or notes from school already. At one point in my son’s elementary school career I swore the school had us on speed dial. I did the battle with my son. He did his homework, I checked it and had him do corrections. We fought tooth and nail. I was determined that he was going to succeed in school, but the determination was only on my part. I did the dance until I met our attachment therapist, which was five years after he joined our family. We discussed why we kept doing this thing that wasn’t working. My determination for him… [more]

Today Beth and her friend, and Dora and I visited the building where the Lawrence Virtual School is housed, and where each Friday the LVS parents meet for a social event. I am excited to announce that all systems are go for Beth and me to begin her virtual school experience in about a week! We came home today with some incredible schooling materials. The folks I met could not have been more helpful or more pleasant. I am truly excited to begin this adventure with Beth. While the kids played this afternoon, I sat on the floor and began visiting with a couple of moms. There were about 25 kids and 10-15 moms present, and my choice of seats and the moms I ended… [more]

Thinking about school conferences this morning reminded me of some of my “best” school stories. Julie and I were talking the other day about folks who simply can’t believe that a school (or school system) would retaliate against parents. People just don’t believe how ignorant, vindictive, retaliatory, and yes, abusive, school systems or staff can be to beleaguered parents. I have heard unbelievable stories from parents, and of course, I have a few of my own stories to share. For six months in late ’94 and early ’95, my family added Cindy, a 14-year-old girl from the Philippines. We should never have added this child, as my family was already on complete overload at this time, but I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Anyway… [more]

This morning I had school conferences. I couldn’t help but remember past conferences … this was the same school that brought me to my knees a decade ago. While I don’t remember specific conversations in specific conferences, I do remember the overall experience. Kyle and Stephanie were stellar students and their teachers couldn’t say enough good about them. Of course, the other two kids were not so academically and socially delightful, and those conferences were usually about me trying to explain the big picture and the school making excuses for my poor little kiddos. This morning I talked to the music teacher after I conferenced on Beth and Dora. The music teacher has been there forever and knew the older kids. She wanted to know how… [more]

OK, sorry guys, but many of you homeschooling parents who are reading this blog are "not normal" in terms of your families and you don't need me to tell you that! In my research about homeschooling, I have learned that some traditional homeschoolers don’t think virtual school is really homeschooling. The former group homeschools because they want to pick the curriculum, and in many cases they want to include religious instruction. Some take issue with the government involvement and prefer to homeschool to avoid a variety of restrictions imposed by public or community education. My reasoning was different. I have thought about this off and on, but it is one thing to consider homeschooling a healthy child, and yet another to consider it with an attachment… [more]

Dora is locked in the throes of passive-aggressive behavior to the max. She’s always mad about something and it is coming through every action and body movement possible. I guess she’s really relaxing and letting it all hang out—‘cuz it is. Fun fun. She went to school this morning looking like her finger got stuck in a light socket—all because she was mad that I told her she had filling manure bags in her future because she was struggling so much to do even the simplest chore. That was enough to set her off and she decided not to get her hair done. Not a problem for me, I’m still sitting at my computer in my pj’s and I’m not the one in public right now… [more]

How many times are you reminded about something or prompted about something once that "something" is on your radar screen? I remember being pregnant with Kyle and Stephanie and seeing pregnant bellies everywhere I looked. The same phenomenon is happening with this homeschooling thing. God must be talking to me, because it seems as if every time I turn around, something else is prompting me to explore the idea of bringing Beth (and eventually Dora) home for school. Last week at the ATTACh conference I had several opportunities to speak to Katherine Leslie. Turns out she is homeschooling her middle school daughter, for all the exact same reasons I am considering it for Beth. They are both enjoying it immensely. Katherine's daughter picks out recipes… [more]