As I am frequently in the elementary school these days, I see various class projects and art masterpieces displayed on the walls and bulletin boards. One of those class projects was a “newspaper” prominently displaying a photo of the person whose “Exclusive Story (was) Told Here for the Very First Time!” I looked for Beth’s on the wall yesterday but I couldn’t find it. So imagine my surprise when I sat down for breakfast this morning after she had caught the bus and found some of her papers left for me to see. One of them was her newspaper.

In... more

Once again the comments and respectful debate over disruptions and how they should be handled has been quite prolific in the last couple of blogs. Regarding private, “underground network” placements versus agency involvement, my long-time friend Pat Johnston had this to say:

The problem is that this is nearly impossible when things are done between families, independently, rather than with the guidance... more

I don’t know how many families I have worked with over the years, but it has been many. Represented in that overall sample were quite a few families in crisis, some of whom went on to disrupt. Through no plans of my own, I have come to be considered the “Disruption Guru” by many in the industry—a moniker which actually creates issues for me on many fronts. I have learned many, many things about families, relationships, attachment, stress responses, coping skills and human behavior over the course of this past 15 years. Here is one bottom line thing I hang on to: I try very,... more

I have enjoyed the lively discussion occurring about adoption disruption and the reasons behind it.

One of the recurring themes in the readers’ comments has been the role of agencies in adoption disruption. I can’t tell you how many times I have had parents tell me their agency response was, “Really? Your child has attachment issues? We’ve never had any child have those problems before!”

I still remember calling our placing agency when my family... more

A comment by Pat Johnston of Perspectives Press recently ignited an interesting exchange of thoughts and ideas on a previous blog. Pat was asking why some placements disrupt, and what might be done to change this phenomenon. Her bottom line thought was that if parents were better prepared, this would only happen if kids were a danger to themselves... more

Tomorrow starts Dora’s second week of school, still half days. Both girls missed a couple of days of school on our weekend junket, but it is their responsibility to make sure their work is completed. They most certainly had plenty of time in the car to make it happen. I informed Dora tonight that Amy lost the option of missing school when we traveled because she never, ever made up her work. Kyle and Stephanie were always very conscientious about their academic responsibilities.

Speaking of Amy, tomorrow is D-day for her. I have no idea if she made something happen... more

I’m in yet another hotel room as I write this. Yesterday was spent having an upper GI endoscopic exam, followed by a really fun party with my vet school classmates. The upper GI exam confirmed that I will need to return for endoscopic surgery sometime after the first of next year.

After taking a nap to sleep off the happy drugs from my GI exam, we headed to the home of one of my classmates for another party. Beth and Dora were the only two kids there. Many of my classmates commented on how polite and well-behaved they were. The girls spent some of the time... more

Recently a reader left this thought-provoking comment on a previous blog:

I rock my daughter every day, but one of the issues I have trouble with is that there are times when she has been very destructive or very oppositional or whatever and will then say to me, "I need you to rock me," and I know she does need this, but at times I just can't do it at that point because I feel so angry at her. Often she is able to ask to rock before... more

I’m sitting in a hotel room watching TV with my husband while the girls supposedly go to sleep. We had a boring day in the car but fun tonight … at least I did! There were 45 out of my 72 classmates present, and hopefully more will be in attendance at tomorrow night’s party. Boy, we’re an old bunch of folks!

We were about an hour late to the party, after driving all day and losing an hour to a time zone change. I arrived just as they were introducing the classes, and the “class of honor” was the Silver Anniversary Class of ’82. We lined up and one by one took the... more

I am writing this late at night in preparation for dripping it out into cyberspace this morning. We are leaving very early in order to get to Purdue in time for me to clean up a little and then meet and greet my vet school classmates. Of course, I had to pack for me and two girls, so I tossed the packing for the Border collies to my husband! I loaded songs on the new MP3 player I bought Dora (she doesn’t know yet) so she has something to listen to when she and Beth are not watching DVDs or catching up on homework. Not to mention the fact that I am pretty wiped out... more