I’ve struggled to get blogs written these past few days, as Dora is having a rough week. Reality has really set in. The novelty of being here is wearing off and the realization that she is really living in another family and not “just visiting” is hitting her quite hard. We had two long, hard sessions in the rocking chair today, with Dora dealing with her mad and sad in the safety of my arms. She asked to rock this morning before we did much of anything else. It was a harbinger of things to come.

A reader recently asked, “what form does the purging take?” The... more

Several of you have posted very good questions and today I am going to begin answering those questions. You wanted to know:

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“Are you attaching to (Dora)...falling in love with her? Or since it's a "trial" period, do you guard against that?”

“I am interested in knowing what form the purging takes. Does it involve crying AND kicking and screaming and biting and spitting, etc.? I'm not sure if we are experiencing purging or acting out behavior that has gotten attention in the past. I know that there's a feeling of relief (and release)... more

My freshly manicured hands are now full of blisters after having cotton rope pulled through them by a horse determined not to get in our trailer. This is really a neat horse—very well mannered, willing to please, very low-key. He’s simply convinced he won’t fit in our trailer and he’s afraid. We tried the “my way or the highway” approach (not dissimilar from what we tried in July for four long hours) and it simply didn’t work. I hated it, too. He wasn’t being belligerent … he was afraid.

So here’s what we did. We put my horse trailer in our round pen... more

I went to bed late and woke up early … not a good combination. I spent far too long last night dinking with my computer anti-viral software.

Dora is having another mad and sad day. After taking Beth to school, we were off to the nail salon for a little Mom-pampering. Then on to Wal-Mart for groceries and deodorant (as requested by Beth, who doesn’t want to be left out of the pre-adolescent revolution!) Lunch was a quiet affair with some passive-aggressiveness exhibited by Dora as she struggled with her mad and sad. After lunch, I scooped her up and we headed for... more

Continued from here ...

Beth joined me in the rocking chair after having spent some “quality time” sharing deep and emotional secrets with Dora while they were sweeping rocks off the driveway and pulling weeds from the mulched areas around the house. Dora was missing her mom, and as Dora’s emotions uncorked, Beth’s own barely contained emotions exploded as well. Beth was already dealing with her choice to pilfer candy and the impact that had upon me, and therefore her.... more

I mentioned in the previous blog that yesterday we had another dual meltdown event. Perhaps I should start with the day before …

I started off my Saturday morning by leaving the house before everyone was awake and taking three of the five dogs on a long walk. I took a nap that afternoon, but I was still “hitting the wall.” I hadn’t had a moment to myself in weeks. I ended up sending my husband out the door with both girls (they went to see Shrek 3) and I spent the blissful... more

In my previous blog, I shared that Dora informed me she believes she has unloaded about “half” of her sadness, anger and deep feelings. While I concurred that she had, indeed, offloaded some of her negative feelings, I asked her how she quantified the amount? How did she decide it was “half”? She really didn’t have an answer for me, as I expected. I then provided her with this analogy …

I said her grief and loss were like a bucket of water, but not... more

I have fallen into bed exhausted this past week. By ten o'clock I can't keep my eyes open. I am surprised at how tired I am ... it feels like I have run a marathon or something!

I awoke about 7 AM this morning and decided to get on with my day … by myself for a change. I grabbed something to eat, took the Border collies and Zoë, the Rottie (leaving the lazy hound pup and the old dog behind) and headed north to the walking path that was right behind the duplexes where we lived for 9 months last year. I walked four miles with only dogs for company … I was going... more

I’m still waiting to hear from the local school bus company whether or not my kids will be able to ride the bus for free. My neighbor and I carpooled last year but she now has her kids on the bus. Therefore, I either put mine on the bus or drive all the time myself. Our house is the first one in the subdivision. Rules state that you have to live 2.5 miles from the school to receive free busing. Apparently, we are 2.43. Every other house in our 14-lot neighborhood qualifies for free busing except us. The bus picks up the kids next door and stops between our two homes.

If... more

Another day under my belt, adjusting to life with two girls. My husband is on a business trip and Dora has repeatedly expressed her anticipation of his return. Beth is stressed dealing with piles of homework as her fifth grade teacher sets the bar high. Swimming starts next week … not sure when that is going to fit in?

Dora played dumb on schoolwork yesterday, and as a result spent a fair amount of time staring at a very simple math paper. It was there for her again today, and the prospect of another boring day as well as the possibility of missing a horseback ride... more