In my previous post I talked about Ben, the Border collie who still has to wear an electric collar when we go for walks. He listens to me fairly well on walks, so I haven’t had to use the collar much. Occasionally I sound the warning buzzer and his ears become much more acute ...

At dinnertime last night, Ben repeatedly arose from his “down-stay” in the kitchen. He simply became tired of waiting for his opportunity to scope out any dropped food, and no matter how much I landed... more

Several of my neighbors have horses. My next-door neighbor moved in this past summer and her family just acquired their first horse. Frequently, I see her and my neighbor down the street riding, washing horses, or trailering the horses somewhere for a lesson or some other fun equine event. I’m feeling left out. But why would they bother to invite me? They have in the past, and I’m always buried. Right now, I even have a sidekick in tow. Before Dora joined us, I was at the computer doing ATN work or off on a trip somewhere, exhibiting or presenting at a conference.... more

Continued from here ...

As Beth and I continued plowing through her emotions, I stated once again that grief and loss is a journey, not a destination. (Thanks to Faith for that great phrase!) I told Beth she would be processing that loss throughout her lifetime, and in different ways through each of her ages and stages. I said she had matured a great deal in the past year and she was able to understand things... more

Continued from here ... Beth's assessment that she hadn't felt such deep pain for quite some time reminded me of some issues we had when she was around 5 or 6, and a conversation I had with Daniel Hughes about her behavior. I honestly can’t remember what exactly she was doing that was sending me mixed messages, but I remember being confused about how to respond to her. I described her behavior to Dan and he asked me several... more

Continued from here ... Intermittently during the time we talked, Beth buried her head in my chest and absolutely wailed. She released the most guttural sounds imaginable. It was clearly a purging of deep pain. In between she would regroup and we would talk, and then she would begin again. Dora was awake for much of this time.

During our conversation I did a little venting of my own. I told Beth I had poured a great deal of energy into both girls this past... more

For the second night in a row, Beth was struggling with her emotions. I sent her to bed to deal with some of it on her own for a change. Her crying ebbed and flowed in the upstairs bedroom. I was all too acutely aware of how much it bothered my parents to have this going on yet again at their home. Finally I got up to go upstairs and address it. I was clearly not too happy. My mom felt inclined to offer some unsolicited advice/armchair parenting. I wasn’t too receptive. She said, “This is hard for her!” and I said, “Like I don’t know that??” I headed upstairs and... more

Dora had a great day today. She seemed relaxed and genuine for the majority of the day. She and Kyle and Beth walked to the top of the steps at the Alpine Visitor Center on Trail Ridge Road. Can you spot the girls in their tie-dyed sweatshirts?

After that we went to Ride-A-Kart (Amy worked here one summer!) and had two rides each on the go-karts. Beth was thrilled that she was finally tall... more

I am sitting at my parent’s home awaiting a bacon, eggs and potatoes breakfast made by my dad. That is his specialty and one of the counted on perks of visiting them in Colorado.

We traveled late into the night on Friday night and arrived in Denver, meeting Kyle and Marie at the hotel. We arrived in Estes Park by lunch time on Saturday. We had a great time at a craft fair Saturday afternoon and the girls and I all got tie-dyed sweatshirts. I also spent too much money at a bead booth, buying great things for now and for some early Christmas shopping.

The girls... more

I am exhausted today. I guess the past week has really caught up with me, both physically and emotionally. I am very ready to climb in the car tomorrow and spend the day traveling. I plan to crochet fuzzy flip flops for Dora. Beth has a zillion pairs, as do I.

My series this week has been written from my heart, as I experienced it, in an attempt to share the difficulties associated with pain, grief, loss, and adoption disruption. It is an ugly subject, but it happens. All across the country, parents of all kinds (bio, adoptive, step) make daily decisions about who... more

Many experienced teachers begin the school year by putting the fear of God into their students on the first day of school. At least, that is the impression I have received from Beth, and I think I used to hear it from the older kids. It was so long ago, I’m not sure!

Why would a teacher prefer to “come down hard” and then lighten up, as opposed to giving the kids a chance to prove that they need more structure and control? Because many teachers have learned it is much easier to lighten up than it is to backpeddle... more