I once had a conversation with Foster Cline (this photo of him was taken at the ATN conference last week) where I complained to him that I hated how cynical I was becoming sometimes. It can be hard to be optimistic when you see the same thing, day after day after day. For instance, this evening my husband will face the immense pleasure of stopping by Amy’s apartment complex to deal with the current mess of her life. He instructed Amy to stop by any time this week and pay any amount on her $4,000 rent bill. He gives it a 50/50... more

I have written many posts on this blog that discuss my thoughts on “goodness of fit” and the ability or lack of ability to match parents and kids. Given the way the child welfare system works, or for that matter international adoption agencies, I don’t see how it is really feasible to facilitate true matches between parents and kids, in most cases. In the case of foster care, it often matters very little if the potential foster parents have filled out a lengthy form describing the type of child they feel equipped to parent, as well... more

Yesterday morning I dropped off the puppy, Gracie, at my vet friend’s clinic … she was spayed. (Boy, it is sure different than 25 years ago!) One would think with as many dogs as I have running around here, I wouldn’t miss just one, especially short term. But going back to Katherine Leslie’s “measure behavior on two different scales—positive and negative”, I have to say Gracie is pretty much a positive, and when she is not here, her absence is noted.

So... more

I mentioned in this post about Mark Riley, a man I met at the NACAC conference in Tampa last week. Mark used to work for the Child Welfare League of America (CWLA) and has tons and tons of contacts in the child welfare arena.

Mark is excited about what ATN is doing, and on that note is plugging me into many of his contacts. While this is quite exciting, it is also a scary prospect … will we be biting... more

I have quoted Katherine Leslie several times in this blog, including this post where she talks about measuring your child’s positive and negative behaviors on two scales instead of one. So instead of saying, “My child exhibits 60% positive behaviors and 40% negative behaviors” you could actually have a child that gets a six or seven on the negative scale and six or seven on the positive scale. Katherine believes... more

Since Julie so rightfully bragged about her daughter, I’d like to take this chance to brag about mine. Both Stephanie and Beth were in attendance at the conference. Stephanie participated on the sibling panel, along with Kay and Autumn Hager, a mid-to-late 20’s adult who lived with a very dangerous, very family-damaging child about ten years ago. (Her PTSD was still evident as she remembered her family’s experiences, and they have all already done a great... more

After writing and posting my previous blog, Beth and I headed out to ride horses. It is beastly hot here and the weather forecast for the rest of the week is worse … hundred degree days all week. We took the new horse, Java, out for a trail ride for the first time. Beth and Java did great. She’s quite proud of herself for being on this horse and managing him so well. I think they will have many fun times together.

We rode... more

I played catch up all day after the conference, trying to do mounds of laundry, put ATN money in the bank, drop off and pick up Stephanie from work (her car was in the shop) and for the last two hours, talk to two moms. Here it is after dinner and this is the very first chance I have had to sit down and blog. Earlier today I did a three-way call with a contact I made at the NACAC conference and one of his friends (a woman I met several years ago), and on that call I ranted and raged about families not getting services and families... more

Poor Beth was pretty desperate for some Mom time today, after having shared me with a multitude of conference attendees over the past couple of weeks. We are both very, very tired, and as we all know, being tired makes a person more vulnerable to fluctuating emotions. So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that we ended up in the rocking chair experiencing yet another grief-purging bout.

Beth and I have had many conversations about this “new person” who is quite possibly coming to live with us in the next few weeks.... more

I apologize that you haven’t heard much from me this past four days, but as I suspected would happen, the conference required 200% of my attention. I couldn’t walk across the lobby of the hotel without being stopped by a dozen people. We listened and learned all day and then networked and socialized at night. I fell into bed and got up and did it all again the next day.

I am beyond beat today, but I have so very much to tell you. I had lengthy conversations with Foster... more