As this blog drips into the system I will already be at the Elms Resort, welcoming our pre-conference speakers and attendees and ATN board members as our second annual conference kicks off. Yesterday my phones were ringing like crazy as I managed home issues, conference issues, and “regular” ATN issues. I have families in crisis all over the place, with kids blowing out of placements and families searching for answers. One mom wrote on a bulletin board recently that she was “tired of feeling all alone.”... more

I mentioned in this post about a mom who called me while I was still at the conference. She and her husband have an internationally adopted son who is bringing the family to their knees. Although he hasn’t been home that long, they have already experienced police involvement and many of the other crises and traumas all too familiar to many of you who regularly read this blog.

When their son arrived home, he was small and developmentally... more

There are several conferences that occur every year that I would love to present at, but finances preclude me from doing so. It costs between $500 and $1000 each time I travel somewhere to present, and the ATN budget doesn’t come close to allowing that. One of those conferences is the American Adoption Congress annual conference. I spoke there a few years ago. It is a conference that is supposedly aimed at all three members of the triad, but there are far more birthmoms and adult adoptees... more

One of the conference attendees I met at the NACAC conference was an adult adoptee, not too many years younger than I. I’ll call her Mary. She was a Florida native and her early history unfolded in that same state, in an era when foster parents were not allowed to adopt and even less was known about attachment, bonding and child development. She is currently a GAL, or Guardian ad Litem, working in the child welfare arena.

When she was an infant, she was placed in a foster home that consisted... more

Beth was quite the hit at the NACAC conference last week. She was outgoing and charming without being manipulative. She had most of the other exhibitors eating out of her hand, and showed me on the plane ride home the light-up pin given to her by “the Pin Man”. At a reception held on Thursday night, she played pool with a couple of “older” boys, and proudly informed her dad via telephone that she won one game! In response to his question of “How many games did you play?” she didn’t hesitate to say, “Twenty!” The next day, even more... more

This afternoon while I was visiting my friend Karen and her 5 month old baby, Rachel, I watched the amazing mother/child dance unfold before me in living color. Although Karen is an older first time mom, and she has been concerned about her ability to parent her child and meet her needs appropriately, it is clear to me she is doing a fabulous job. She knows each different cry uttered by her daughter, and trust me, Rachel doesn’t cry often or for long periods of time. Every time Karen responds to Rachel, you can see how the baby instantly settles... more

It is mid-afternoon and I am sitting on the couch at my friend Karen’s home, with my lovely Beth sitting next to me. We both just awoke from a much needed nap, and we have about two hours before we must leave for the airport. We are still in Tampa, after wrapping up the NACAC conference at lunchtime. Julie was with me at the conference, but she left before sun up to fly to Atlanta and then hop in a car and start her drive to Kansas for our conference next week.

I thought this morning might... more

I am so tired tonight I can hardly think. Another day spent talking to folks at the booth here at the NACAC conference in Florida. As I mentioned in this post, I am shocked and pleased at how much traffic we are receiving at our booth. I have heard social workers and agency personnel talking about what they wanted to take home to “their parents” and heard them say, “I think what they really need is the... more

A reader commented on this post and asked the question, “How do I get my son to the point where he is not affected by my daughter’s behaviors, but only has the day-to-day stressors of life to deal with?”

First of all, let me clarify my view of the issues that cause a reaction in Beth, and those that don’t. One of the reader’s questions involved Amy’s departure almost a year... more

Beth and I are at the NACAC conference today, as is Julie, one of my co-bloggers on adoption.com. We have had quite the day. Our booth was busy all day long. This is significantly different from past years when we haven’t seen too much traffic. The consensus is that getting the word “disorder” out of our organization’s name and adding the “trauma” piece was a good move. (In April, we changed from the Attachment... more