For many years after I started ATN, we had a tradition of gathering many of the families together on the Fourth of July and having a picnic at my home, followed by watching our local parade and fireworks. We did this for several years in a row, and when we moved to Illinois, it was one of many, many things I missed. We even came back to Kansas one year and celebrated the holiday with one of the families … the most consistent of our holiday guests.

Last year we were in duplexes and just recovering from a wedding, so I didn’t have a place... more

One of the comments on my previous post (about how hard it can be to maintain a loving attitude) was about a 3½ year old child “monitoring” the older RAD child. And that same comment talked about how the mom paid if she let her guard down for one moment; how the child had zero comprehension about giving back to the family (but rather expected to be waited on hand and foot) even though he had spent all his life in that... more

The adoption forum discussion boards have a couple of threads going about how to institute tougher parenting methods when one has to backpeddle … meaning a child with attachment issues has been in the home for awhile and enjoying more freedom and choices than are healthy to promote bonding and attachment, so mom and dad have to “regroup” and do things differently. This often means removing privileges already held by the child. Most folks are sure... more

I get many different electronic newsletters, from many different sources. Check them out and sign up for what looks interesting to you. They are:

Evan B. Donaldson Institute Adoption Newsletter

Bazelon Mental Health Policy Reporter

National Resource Center for Family-Centered Practice & Permanency Planning

Child... more

In my next post I’ll get back to my vision for ATN, but for now I want to share a conversation I had with Beth today before we both crashed for a much-needed nap. Bear in mind she was exhausted so she was even more emotionally fragile, but still, what she said was incredible …

She attended camp last week with a neighborhood friend and classmate. Apparently they had some difficulties, as they discovered that living with... more

I picked Beth up at camp this morning … I feel complete again! She’s tired and badly in need of a bath, but can’t take one until the plumber gets here and fixes our not-yet-a-year-old sump pump that quit and has caused flooding in our basement. Sigh … that same basement that is nearly (but not quite) finished on one side and piled high with stuff we have yet to unpack on the other side. Piled high is the key word right now, as we have stacked everything on top of everything else. Just what I wanted to do on my Saturday afternoon.

Beth... more

Continuing with my “assignment” to describe my vision for ATN … I started by talking about educating the uneducated. I stated how difficult it will be for us to create appropriate, affordable and accessible resources and support if those in charge of providing those services don’t understand our lives or our family dynamics.

Here’s another aspiration for this organization … how’s about that it is financially self-supporting? My... more

Continuing on from my description of the original four moms that conceived of the organization that eventually became ATN, and from my distaste of the business of business, I’d like to see if I can put into words my vision for ATN going forward.

Since this organization sprang from my experiences and my realization that services... more

When I was a practicing veterinarian, I had no aspirations to own my own practice. It occurred to me how out-of-character that was for me in some ways, because I have always been assertive and a go-getter. But I had no desire to order drugs or hire and fire employees, or pay light bills and deal with water in the basement of a clinic. I just wanted to see clients, treat pets, and have the drugs in the cabinet when I needed them!

So it was when I started ATN. I was far more interested in the service... more

Kelly and I had lunch today with my friend Kathy. Kathy was one of three other moms who had a hand in starting ATN. Kathy’s contribution was by far the most significant of the three. (She's wearing the blue shorts.) Kathy was the worker behind the scenes. She mailed out lots of informational packets and helped develop our fledgling database.

I was connected with her through our therapist who had always wanted to get a local support group going. One of the other two moms, "Linda", was also... more