A friend recently sent me a link to an article that appeared in a British newspaper. My friend told me she had heard this paper was the equivalent of the Enquirer in America, so consider the source when you read the article. However, if even half of this story is factual, many of us will relate to the plight of this woman—and this child.

This is the story of a single mom who adopted a 7-year-old girl from the foster care system in England.... more

Dora and I have been having some deep conversations lately. We are two months into her placement with us, and she is processing lots of things. Tomorrow is therapy day, and we have plenty to discuss.

Her first adoptive mom sent a photo album that contained pictures of Dora’s Chinese orphanage and her first few months in America. Such a sad, sad group of infants and toddlers represented by those photos. Picture after picture devoid of life or smiles on the faces of these kids. I didn’t have to convince Dora about what I saw—she saw it, too. We not only talked about the... more

While I was exhibiting last weekend at an adoption fair, commemorating November as Adoption month, I met a man in his late 40’s who identified himself as having serious attachment and PTSD issues. He reminded me a great deal of Nancy Ashe.

His story was that he was the youngest of four children, and he spent about a year and a half on the streets and 8 years in an orphanage. This was 4 decades ago, of course, and the state was Alabama, I think.

This... more

Regular reader and commenter Bipette recently posted a question asking how I managed to get my kids to talk to me about their issues. It was an interesting question, and one I pondered all day today. I was still pondering it when I rocked Dora before bed tonight and we ended up talking for an hour—notwithstanding the fact that I told her it would be a short session tonight, not a long one. We talked until we reached a logical point to table the discussion... more

Dora starts therapy again on Friday. We had two marathon sessions with two therapists each time while we were in Rhode Island at the ATTACh conference, but this will be our first session at home. I have known the therapist for quite awhile and I am confident she will do a good job. I am most excited to have someone else in the loop with me, helping Dora figure out what she is thinking and feeling, and what to do with those thoughts and feelings. I also have little doubt that we will have plenty to talk about each week.

Dora’s anger is spewing out at school, as reported... more

I learned many things while parenting Amy, although lots of them were tools and techniques I would have been quite happy to forego adding to my repertoire. One of those learned responses involved cutting Amy off at the pass when she attempted to duck, evade, avoid, redirect, deny or circumvent a simple, straightforward question. I would make some basic inquiry; she would start her shenanigans. Eventually I developed the habit of asking my question, giving her a chance to answer, and when her mouth opened and a torrent of unrelated words began to emerge, I followed... more

I have had a bit of trouble finding time to blog this past 24 hours. Yesterday Beth and I worked on schoolwork all morning—mostly math and language—and then went bowling with a bunch of other homeschool folks. I can’t bowl worth a whit and I’m even sore today from pulling something. Jeezz, what an old lady I am! After bowling we returned home to fix and eat dinner and then I rushed off with Beth, dropped her at swim practice and then went grocery shopping. My husband arrived at home just as we were leaving, which was terrific timing as Dora was in reverse at home.... more

I don’t have much time to read—Reader’s Digest and the highly accurate and sophisticated People magazine are about my speed. Short bytes in short time frames. It was in People magazine that I read a book review about Crisis, Pursued by Disaster, Followed Closely by Catastrophe: A Memoir of Life on the Run. The write-up sounded interesting, so I went online to my local library and queued up to get the book. Apparently others thought it sounded interesting as well, because it took over a month for it to become available.

It is... more

I was supposed to go to the Chief’s game today. We have three tickets, purchased before we became an immediate family of four. I made arrangements early in the week to have Dora hang out with my friend Sunbonnet Sue (who regularly comments on this blog) while the other three of us attended the game. It would have been Dora's first "sitter" arrangement since her arrival. It wasn’t a punishment (I prefer the term consequence) for Dora, simply a reflection of one too few tickets. Although I awoke this morning feeling OK, after breakfast I became quite nauseated.... more

As I mentioned in several previous posts, Beth is now home for school, learning through the K12 curriculum—virtual school. We have been assigned an “education specialist” to assist us as we tackle this new way of learning. I had a chance to visit with him yesterday.

Turns out he has a daughter about 2 months older than Beth. He’s also not too much younger than me, and … here’s the really interesting part … he is the oldest of 11 children, the last seven of whom were adopted through foster care. His siblings were the foster kids who stayed... more