“99 Ways to Drive Your Child Sane” by Brita St.Clair is one of my favorite parenting books for kids with attachment issues.
If you’re living with a child with attachment issues you will understand when I say that there are days when you just want to scream or pull your hair out. You are not sure if your child is insane, if you are, or both. You think there is no way you are going to make it through the day. You have had all you can take of the lying, stealing, destruction, food hoarding, or all of the above.
99 Ways takes a humorous look at a way to change things up and make you laugh, make your child laugh, or both. There is a disclaimer in the back of the book and it is one that should be taken to heart.
“In no way are these suggestions meant to be used for humiliation, degradation or revenge or punishment for a child!”
This book is not about humiliating your child, but instead having some fun and keeping things light when it feels like anything but fun. That being said, here are a few of my favorites.
#4 – For a particularly snotty kid, hand them a tissue every time you walk past. Your child will probably pretend you are nuts, but they know what you mean.
#22 – I forgot about this one, but I will be using it soon. I have two kids who never stop talking. With my son, Sammy, it’s to avoid thinking. With my daughter, Hannah, it is partially wanting to be the center of attention, and because she is a very social child. When your child is driving you up a wall with the endless chatter, pretend to spot a fly and then chase it. You can pretend to kill it and eat it if you can get away with it.
#40 – For whining and tantrums – We do this one in our house. When your child starts to throw a tantrum or whine, show that you can do it better and whine or have a tantrum along with the child. I tell my kids that I can do it better, so they are not allowed to do it until they can do it better than me. It can be especially embarrassing when done in the middle of the grocery store, but I’m beyond caring what people think of me, and the only ones who don’t get it have never had kids, or haven’t been around kids in quite a while.
#60 – Who knows – Kids often answer “I don’t know” when asked a question, but with kids with attachment issues it can be a common answer to questions that you know your child knows the answer to. One thing with you learn quickly with kids with attachment issues to never ask a “Why” question, because you will never get a straight answer. The book’s suggestion is that when your child say “I don’t know” ask who does know. Is it the neighbor? The dog? The Sunday school teacher? We changed this one up with Hannah when she was a respite kid. She did “I don’t know” or shrugged her shoulders quite often, so we gave ourselves a point every time she did it. When she got to 50 “points” I baked a cake and we had a party and thanked her for not knowing.
You get the idea of how this book goes. Get a copy for your home and pull it out when you feel your sanity slipping and you need to have some fun with the insane things your child is doing. You can order a copy here. It will be a great addition to your parenting library.
Photo credit – Kelly L. Killian