After talking about her birthmom, my conversation with Amy moved onto other topics. Amy told me that while it has been somewhat of a struggle for her on her own, she is “glad” we “kicked her out” because she fully realized she would have never made any changes unless we forced it. She actually said that she has realized how good she had it living with us. And she admitted that a huge part of her wishes she could move back home… and wishes she had made some different decisions when she had the opportunity to do so. While she obviously is much less challenged emotionally when living by herself, she really misses the family. She rarely missed an opportunity over the holidays to announce her days off work and any times she might be available “if we needed her for anything.”


As far as work goes, she has been training to be a shift leader at her fast food job. Of three “candidates” that started, she is the only one still moving towards completion of the training. This has been a somewhat lengthy deal, as this training started in September I believe. She is apparently doing well and with this position will acquire additional responsibility. She doesn’t know how much additional pay she will receive… in spite of the family asking her repeatedly to find out and/or negotiate something reasonable.


AND… as of today she went back to high school. She got herself signed up and will be taking two English and one computer course, attending school from about 7:30 to 10:30, and then walking to work. She said she will have a couple of hours before her shift starts to work on homework, and then she will put in another 6-8 hours of work. If she passes these three courses she will graduate in May. That would be really awesome.


AND… we talked about the Navy, and apparently she hasn’t completely ruled that out. It amazes me that she can dink them around the way she did and they are still willing to take her, but they are and I’m glad. When we talked about her bailing on them, she said, “I didn’t want to go until I was ready to handle it.” It was an honest explanation and I can appreciate the meaning… it wasn’t just boot camp she was afraid of, it was life in general. I still think the Navy would be the absolute best choice for her and I told her so. I don’t think she disagrees… she just hasn’t experienced enough of the daily grind to realize the difference between a career and just barely scraping by.(Or not.)


So, not only did we TALK… and I mean actually TALK… But she let the walls down. She was real, she was vulnerable… She was human. And when she returned each time to visit, she initiated hugs… real ones. They’re a bit awkward, but they are real… and I’ll take ‘em.


Kyle and Marie were a bit surprised at how readily I included Amy in family gatherings, as they have labeled me as inflexible and unreasonable in my past responses to her. But I pointed out, all it took was the tiniest bit of effort on Amy’s part, and I was ready to respond. Amy has put forth more than a tiny bit… and we did respond. I will admit to cautious optimism... I should also add that in a conversation with Stephanie, Amy openly expressed her interest in repairing her relationship with me. In the next blog, I'll share with you the amazing birthday card Amy gave me....