Comments on: Advocating for foster care improvements http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements Addresses challenges faced by parents of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder and provides news and support. Wed, 17 Mar 2010 19:13:41 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: plhearon http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements/comment-page-1#comment-1217 plhearon Sun, 10 Feb 2008 05:16:00 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/30/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements#comment-1217 Foster care does work. You have to consider how many foster kids there are and then the percentage that it doesn't work for. We have fostered aprox. 40 children. Had two moved, adopted 6 and all but 1 went to good situations whether it was with the parents or realitives. Our 8 year old daughter was in foster care for 4 years before she came to live with us. We have had her for 2 years and we are still paying for her being in 13 different placements. So foster care hurt her. She was also in a group home for a year before we got her. If they had of terminated when she was 3 she wouldn't have near as many problems, but I still have to say that over all foster care does work. It just has a lot of flaws and a lot of laws need to be changed. Foster care does work. You have to consider how many foster kids there are and then the percentage that it doesn’t work for. We have fostered aprox. 40 children. Had two moved, adopted 6 and all but 1 went to good situations whether it was with the parents or realitives. Our 8 year old daughter was in foster care for 4 years before she came to live with us. We have had her for 2 years and we are still paying for her being in 13 different placements. So foster care hurt her. She was also in a group home for a year before we got her. If they had of terminated when she was 3 she wouldn’t have near as many problems, but I still have to say that over all foster care does work. It just has a lot of flaws and a lot of laws need to be changed.

]]> By: CREAMPUFF_SUGAR http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements/comment-page-1#comment-1216 CREAMPUFF_SUGAR Fri, 01 Feb 2008 18:50:25 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/30/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements#comment-1216 Paulukon~ Could you provide some literature or research showing that foster care works? I agree there are some horrific situations out there, but it seems that foster care is a hit and miss prospect. I can think of one little girl--and I realize that this is just an instance and not representative--who was moved many times (15) before being placed with her adoptive family. She was with one foster family that wanted to adopt her, but because she was not in the county she was supposed to be in and the county wanted her back in the county she originated in, she was moved and it seems at that point, all trust was lost. This child is now in a group home because her adoptive family just couldn't cope with her many issue~at age 7. It just seems that the foster system works to stay within its rules and not for the "best of the children" and, oh, how sick I am of that term. A family we know was told that at least 60 people would be involved in their lives if they were going through with fostering. It beats me why so many are necessary, but I have to say that maybe that gauntlet will prepare people for the gauntlet of behaviors. <br /> <br /> I didn't go through foster care to adopt; we consciously made a decision to adopt overseas so that we would not be under the eye of governmental supervision. I am grateful we didn't because when we adopted, we had so many behaviours with our two that I would have accessed the services and given up the children to someone else. I am glad that I didn't have that opportunity ...well, it just prohibitively expensive. It forced us to look for resources ourselves and we learned so much. <br /> <br /> I can't say it's easy, but it is certainly easier than having someone watching over me and believing my RAD kids and not me. Paulukon~ Could you provide some literature or research showing that foster care works? I agree there are some horrific situations out there, but it seems that foster care is a hit and miss prospect. I can think of one little girl–and I realize that this is just an instance and not representative–who was moved many times (15) before being placed with her adoptive family. She was with one foster family that wanted to adopt her, but because she was not in the county she was supposed to be in and the county wanted her back in the county she originated in, she was moved and it seems at that point, all trust was lost. This child is now in a group home because her adoptive family just couldn’t cope with her many issue~at age 7. It just seems that the foster system works to stay within its rules and not for the “best of the children” and, oh, how sick I am of that term. A family we know was told that at least 60 people would be involved in their lives if they were going through with fostering. It beats me why so many are necessary, but I have to say that maybe that gauntlet will prepare people for the gauntlet of behaviors.

I didn’t go through foster care to adopt; we consciously made a decision to adopt overseas so that we would not be under the eye of governmental supervision. I am grateful we didn’t because when we adopted, we had so many behaviours with our two that I would have accessed the services and given up the children to someone else. I am glad that I didn’t have that opportunity …well, it just prohibitively expensive. It forced us to look for resources ourselves and we learned so much.

I can’t say it’s easy, but it is certainly easier than having someone watching over me and believing my RAD kids and not me.

]]> By: paulukon http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements/comment-page-1#comment-1215 paulukon Fri, 01 Feb 2008 16:40:02 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/30/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements#comment-1215 But foster care *does* work for many kids. Not that I disagree that more supports for some parents would enable them to properly care for their children. But it's not true for all parents. But foster care *does* work for many kids. Not that I disagree that more supports for some parents would enable them to properly care for their children. But it’s not true for all parents.

]]> By: eastern girl http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements/comment-page-1#comment-1214 eastern girl Fri, 01 Feb 2008 00:52:47 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/30/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements#comment-1214 You know, I've wondered the same as Creampuff. Maybe these kids would have been better served in their own homes than removed to foster care. Maybe we could make sure they have 3 meals a day and that their parents have access to 24 hour daycare for them instead of leaving them alone.Someone else could buy their clothes and take them to the doctor. I know this makes people get their back up, this talk of basically raising someone else's kid because they're too irresponsible to do it themselves, but the alternative, foster care, really doesn't seem to work either for the child or for society at large. You know, I’ve wondered the same as Creampuff. Maybe these kids would have been better served in their own homes than removed to foster care. Maybe we could make sure they have 3 meals a day and that their parents have access to 24 hour daycare for them instead of leaving them alone.Someone else could buy their clothes and take them to the doctor. I know this makes people get their back up, this talk of basically raising someone else’s kid because they’re too irresponsible to do it themselves, but the alternative, foster care, really doesn’t seem to work either for the child or for society at large.

]]> By: CREAMPUFF_SUGAR http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements/comment-page-1#comment-1211 CREAMPUFF_SUGAR Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:04:53 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/30/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements#comment-1211 My question for Andrew is: Are these kids any better off in foster care than they would have been in the situation that they were "saved" from? My question for Andrew is: Are these kids any better off in foster care than they would have been in the situation that they were “saved” from?

]]> By: Kelly http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements/comment-page-1#comment-1213 Kelly Thu, 31 Jan 2008 14:38:00 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/30/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements#comment-1213 I can't wait to read more. Their thoughts and comments are right on!! Do they have thoughts on advocacy or changing the system? I can’t wait to read more. Their thoughts and comments are right on!! Do they have thoughts on advocacy or changing the system?

]]> By: Chromesthesia http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements/comment-page-1#comment-1212 Chromesthesia Thu, 31 Jan 2008 12:30:09 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/30/advocating-for-foster-care-improvements#comment-1212 He's sensible.<br /> I'm going to find his book and read what he has to say. He’s sensible.
I’m going to find his book and read what he has to say.

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