I feel as if I have been hit by a Mack truck today. I could explain it away as just physical fatigue as I try and catch up from a wild weekend followed by a non-stop past 3 days. Or I could just acknowledge what I think it really is… emotional overload from reading and processing Deborah Hannah’s book.


I spoke with Deborah several times yesterday. We have much, much in common. Except I was surprised and saddened to realize she really, truly did make this walk entirely alone. She never knew of the existence of ADN (although someone somewhere along the way did, as I received a free copy of the book last fall.) She had never heard of some of the therapies that might have helped her or her kids along the way, like EMDR. (See Julie’s recent blog about it here.) We talked about the fact that EMDR might be a good thing for her youngest son even now.


I sent Deborah to the ADN website to read my story. We talked again later in the day after she had read it. She said she wasn’t sure she was as healed as she thought she was, for reading my story was quite difficult for her…it brought so many painful memories to the surface once again. I told her I had been told by a wise adoptive mom/therapist that I should plan on about five years to heal after experiencing major traumatic events in my life. Five years before I could think or talk about those events without excessive anger, pain or grief.


I was so tired last night I went to bed early and managed to get over 8 hours of sleep. I should have awakened fresh and rejuvenated. I showered and headed to Disciple One Bible study, where I shared some of Deborah’s book with my class… the same quotes I shared with you. I had to stop half way through because I was so overcome with emotion I couldn’t speak. I met a friend for lunch but could hardly remember how to get to a very familiar place.


To be continued...

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