Before I start telling you about the big topic of conversation at the ATTACh conference, I want to share something I observed at church this morning…


We worship at a very large church. Although there were only 400 members when we started attending, there are somewhere around 16,000 now! This growth has occurred over the past 12 years. Anyway, there were lots of people leaving church today around noon. As we headed towards the door, I heard a “squeak, squeak, squeak!” I followed the sound and observed a little girl toddling towards the door, each step emitting a squeak. Other worshippers were watching her as well. The child’s mother was about 3 or 4 feet away from this little girl who appeared to be only 18-20 months old. Her shoes were making the noise, almost like there was a squeaker in each shoe. (Radar of sorts?)


As we exited the church, the child turned around. The bobbing black pigtails that I had noted from behind gave way to a little Chinese face… And cascading from her mouth was a blanket. She was sucking on the blanket for all it was worth and the blanket draped all down the front of her.


Still the mom (who is NOT Chinese) was hovering around, but not touching or actively engaged with the child—at least as far as I could tell. Not until the child approached the parking lot did mom scoop her up and carry her to the car.


Do you know what I saw? I saw a mom who was not connected with her child, and vice versa. I had the distinct impression that mom thought if she picked up the child, all you-know-what would break loose. The child was getting her “mom-fix” from the blanket hanging from her mouth. Beth had a similar “lovey” at that age, at least until I nixed it in favor of the real live, breathing me. When this mom did pick up her child, the little girl did not mold into her, but hung there like a stranger.


This mom was by herself today, so perhaps she is a single mom, perhaps not. But she didn’t seem to me to be at all attuned to her child. This was a RAD dance from my viewpoint.


OK, maybe I am way out of line here and this mom/child duo was as secure as Velcro. But I don’t think so. It looked weird and felt weird. I shared my observations immediately with my Korean friend who was with us at church, and she noted the lack of molding and the weird dynamics as well.


It was so sad. This was a little girl who was getting her needs met (NOT!) by a soggy blanket. Perhaps some day this mom will seek help?

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