A couple of weeks ago I was on television discussing the Baby Max case that grabbed media attention in Missouri.
There was supposed to be another hearing the next day, but until this morning, no one had heard a word about the outcome of that hearing. This morning I learned that Baby Max would be returned to the Stocklaufers. Apparently, one of the issues in this case involved the legalities of the transfer of the child, including the filing of an interstate compact, etc. While I wholeheartedly agree that there should be laws and rules governing the movement of children, I really cringe at the idea that this baby moved around because of technical issues. Especially given that this was a relative placement …
As a result of my interview that morning, I received a phone call from another family in Missouri who is getting shafted by the system. I promised you more of a scoop on Missouri child welfare policies, so here we go …
As Baby Max is being returned, another baby is being moved. In this case, an infant girl with hearing loss has been in the care of a foster mom for about 5 months. The child had several placements already before landing in this foster mom’s arms at the age of 4 months. This foster mom discovered the hearing loss. Both sides of the child’s biological family favor leaving the child with this foster mom. This foster mom has two brothers (not related to the little girl) that she is also parenting, and she will be allowed to adopt them. However, she has been deemed not suitable for this baby girl, and as of this morning, this child is being shipped to Vermont! Bio parent rights have not been terminated, the interstate compact is not finalized, bio family supports the current placement, and another mom in the running for the placement of this child withdrew and now supports the child’s current placement with the foster mom … yet all this doesn’t matter as this baby is moved yet again. Supposedly, the child can be moved for a visit as long as it doesn’t last over a month … so for 29 days this baby adjusts to new people, and then where does she go?
The family in Vermont is Caucasian; the child is African-American or biracial, I can’t remember which, and foster mom is African-American. The Vermont family has 6 kids, with 4 of them preschool aged or younger. They might be a lovely couple, but why move this child to Vermont? Why move this baby at all? If this foster mom was suitable to be the child’s foster mom, and if she is suitable enough to adopt the boys, why can’t she keep this girl? This is so messed up! Apparently, the Guardian ad Litem’s office is a mess, with no checks and balances on the system. It is my understanding that the GAL had much to do with this outcome. I’ll keep you informed. This foster mom is a woman on a mission — she intends to keep fighting!
That is unbelievable. How can any judge look at this child’s history and think this is a good plan? I am baffled.
- Faith
Sadly this doesn’t surprise me…
Did you read my own story?
http://open.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-not-knowing-is-over-sort-of
I blogged about being reunited recently with my nephew, whom we were deemed ‘unsuitable’ to adopt when he was 6 years old, along with his 2 sibs. They refused our gaurdianship with no basis, nothing to review or interview us in any way.
11 years later I find at our meeting that his adoptive family returned him to care at age 8, and he aged out of the foster system this year after 17+ placements all over the place.
The DFS in the state of Missouri is seriously messed up. I hope you can help advocate for this foster mom as well as you did the Stocklaufers. Something needs to happen.
While such moves can admittedly be heartbreaking for caregivers, such young infants need only good routine care — e.g. feeding, changing, stimulation. Research shows it really doesn’t matter who is doing it, because attachment behaviors don’t start to develop until around eight months of age. This is when the infant is for the first time able to understand that there are differences and divisions between itself, its environment, and other people. Attachments then develop as infants share good experiences with their caregivers.
We’re not told why this infant is being moved. Perhaps this infant needs caregivers familiar with cholear implants and post-surgical auditory training.
May a mere bio mother offer an opinion? The comment from mater that babies don’t show attachment behaviours till 8 months is highly inaccurate. Anyone with experience with babies (and I have plenty) knows that a baby of 6 months will howl if somebody (s)he doesn’t know takes her from her mother’s arms. Some babies will cry if an unknown person moves close when they are in their mother’s arms. If that isn’t attachment behaviour, I don’t know what is.
matter drop dead!!!!
It does not matter who parents you until you are 8 months???
What a load of crap…
I hope you get moved around and treated as well in what ever nursing home you land in as an old person…
Well with mater’s line of thinking moving those newborns from their mothers and placing them for adoption should mean nothing to that infant right? They should just be hunky dorey. Won’t even know the difference, as long as we get-er-done before the age of 8 mons.
Obviously mater knows not one damn thing about adoption loss or attachment.
Mater, cite your research very specifically or don’t post such nonsense! There is NO SUCH RESEARCH!
Personal experience…..we adopted in infant who was eight months old. She had extreme attachment issues when she was placed in our home. Infacts attach…no question. Damage is done with multiple placement of infants…no question. How much damage? Read the headlines.
My sons knew the difference from the day they were born…. everything about me was different from their birthmother. They knew my voice, since we had been involved with the adoption plan from the beginning, and they eventually adjusted. But they had a loss, nonetheless……
Missouri’s DYS system is also pretty screwed up. But, in the interest of fairness, what state has social service or juvenile justice systems that work like a charm?
Bowby would say otherwise, Mater…
Babies need stability. Babies thrive and do better when they have a primary care giver to bond to. They should not be moved around unless it’s necessary, and this doesn’t seem necessary.
I am tired of the system being like this.
If this family has not been in touch
with MFCAA.org they need to, even if
this is not a Jackson county case.
They know the laws in Mo and have
legal contacts as well.
Lucy
They have been in contact with MFCAA. It’s a done deal I think, at least for now. The baby was moved as far as I know.
Because the specific infant you are talking about — the one with hearing loss — is about nine months old, the foster mother could argue that the child has entered a stage where it is making attachments and moves could be damaging. Mainstream literature, research and experts would, in a perfect world, be helpful for proving this foster mother’s case.