This is my first time here, I spent 20 years in the Residential Care Industry trying to create a better alternative for kids in foster care and I started a Non-Profit kids didn't want to leave...I was single and 32 whe approached to adopt my daughter at a retreat I was putting on which i though was a joke, but it wasn't...She was 4 and had been through 7 different foster homes in TWO YEARS! Diagnosed with RAD, PTSD among others three years later we basically rescued her older brother who was 9 in his 9th foster home (in 3 different states) functioning at about 6 because the foster parent were abusing him. Theses kids have been incrediblytough and what they went through even tougher. I am currently very excited about Dr. Brian Post and Heather Forbes Book Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control...it is the most poitive and hopeful approach and explanation and current research. I haven't read all your Blog but as I speak with many parents of kids with RAD I know that BURNOUT is a reality and taking care of one self to be able to meet the constant demand of meeting the needs of our children takes tremendous perseverence. my daughter is now 16 an honor student but we still have difficulties we are close but there are days like today were i want to scream but I just disengage...my stress only escalates her RAD if I don't...Her symptomatic lying and stealing has come leaps and bounds and I look back on all the years and there were times when it was hard not to be negative but she wasn't the one that heard it and some days it was humor and perseverence alone that got me through! My kid...in kindergarten stole a book and I was called to school because they foound it in her cubby drawer...when the teachers confronted her as they had asked the children about the book all week...my child looked them dead in the eye and said,"WHAT was Mrs. Cole DOING IN MY CUBBY?" As I the parent shrunk deep into my teeny weeny chair! Or the time I looked up from running my card at the register at the grocery to see a middle aged grocery bagger man Horrified as my 4 year old seated in the cart had her hand in his arm pit saying "Tickle, tickle tickle," Once again horrified as the parent whispering all the way to the car "We don't touch strangers!" What I do know after so many years is that 1)The group home and foster care industry in our country often does more damage to kids then good..I did trouble shooting and training and have seen many so that isn't a guess, 2)Parents adopting are often not given enough information and then are unprepared...i mean Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have all the money and resources in the world but having gotten their other children at birth do they really realize what adopting a 3 year old in the middle of the birth order is going to do...I mean that child probably needs so much attention it will be hard pressed to meet his needs with a new baby a toddle grieving her own mom...I mean maybve they have researched it...I knew what I was getting into...most people don't then come the teen age years...they are tough anyway... Please feel free to email me if you have read the book I spoke of or wish to discuss other things me web page is also on my profile.

My daughter is bipolar, and her life was saved in part by medication. They helped her get to a place where the efforts of her parents and talk therapist could be most effective. she went from an 8th grade flunkie to a well-adjusted high school senior honor roll student. She is bright and beautiful - but her mom is a bit biased. :-)

I completely believe meds are necessary and appropriate in some kids... please don't think I am saying they are not. Congrats on raising such an awesome daughter! Biased moms are the best kind!

Kim, alot of people are very excited about Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control by Heather Forbes and Bryan Post. Isn't it interesting that a search of this whole website, dedicated to adoption, doesn't even bring up a mention of it? If you haven't read it, you don't know what you're missing.