While I was on vacation, I actually had the opportunity to read a book. Significant opportunity, in fact, because it rained so much of the time. It has been so long since I have had time to read a book for more than a few brief moments, I was shocked when I actually read a whole book in one day! I only took one with me, and I had the time to read two.


The book I did complete, however, was one I learned about from the May/June issue of Fostering Families Magazine. The book is titled The Mistress’s Daughter and the author is A.M. Homes. Homes is an accomplished novelist but this particular work was a memoir.


Homes was born in 1962, the product of a relationship between her biological mother and an older, married man. Homes was adopted straight from the hospital into a family that consisted of an older biological son, and the ghost of another son who died of kidney failure at age 9, only six months before Homes was born.


The book is the story of Homes' search for her roots, both adoptive and biological. She describes her birthparents in a forthright and not necessarily flattering light as she chronicles her birthmother’s stalking of her, and her birthfather’s empty promises and unwillingness to acknowledge her.


There is no mention throughout the book of any relationships Homes has with any “significant other”, although at the end of the book she describes the birth of her daughter a few years ago. She states she was hesitant about becoming a parent, stating:

Motherhood was something that terrified me. I have a great fear of attachment and an equally constant fear of loss—I am not sure if this is true for everyone, but for me the ghost of the dead brother still and always looms.

Many of the critics who praised the book on the back cover state this is a “must read” for anyone searching for who they are in any capacity. It is true that A.M. Homes did a wonderful job of juxtaposing her biological roots upon her adopted roots, and she addresses the difficulty in living in two worlds… yet not really living in either one. And throughout, I see the words of a person who, like many other adoptees, struggles with issues foreign to those of us who take for granted our ability to look behind us and see from whence we came.


I recommend this book and would love to hear your thoughts about it as well!

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