Burn out. We live it, we breath it, we define it. We give, give, give and often are met with take, take, take. A good day is when your emotionally disturbed child is neutral… Never mind anything positive coming back. A normal day is when they sabotage, manipulate and attempt to ruin anything fun or positive happening around them. Or maybe they don’t overtly attempt to undermine fun family dynamics, but they are the yoke around the neck of the family just by their negativism and uncooperative attitude. Sound familiar?


Yes, I understand our children are sick. And I understand they often have good reasons to be angry, and defensive, and untrusting. I am well versed in their defensive posturing and their “I’ll reject you before you reject me” line of thinking.


But as I have so often said, and will say over and over again… Choices, Choices, Choices! Do our children want to choose to have fun, choose to work on their issues, choose to rewire their brain? Do they choose to attend therapy, choose to risk closeness, choose to exercise some control over their own demons?


Often they don’t. Is that genetics? Motivation? Intelligence? All of the above? I don’t know, but what is the family to do when the yoke around their neck threatens to choke them?


This was yet another question posed by the mom of the tantruming son. She wanted to know how to create fun moments with a child who was so not fun? And another question along those same lines is how does the rest of the family manage fun times when they are always accompanied by a child who is allergic to fun?


I remember the week Tommy first joined our family. He had no English skills, and I, of course, had no clue about "cocooning" or attachment issues or overstimulation or any of the stuff I understand now. Stay tuned for what happened those first few weeks…

Photo Credit