Beth has had four full days of school thus far. Fortunately, swim practice doesn’t start until mid-September, giving her a chance to get adjusted to the school schedule. She’s tired, and when she’s tired, things get a little tougher. (Why should she be any different than the rest of us?) She’s very motivated at school and very conscious of peer relationships. Consequently, she’s pretty whipped at the end of a day of trying to make everything go perfectly. It isn’t an obsessive/compulsive or controlling need to make things perfect … she just tries hard at everything. It’s pretty cool.


After school tonight, she had a fun and unique “play date”. Her neighbor friend and classmate who also is a “horse buddy” had another horsey friend over, and the three girls went riding while the parents sat in lawn chairs and observed. Because I was dealing with the TV cable guy, I was a bit late to the party. I let Beth ride her new horse down to the neighbor's property while I watched from my office window. She thought that was pretty cool. The horse mostly behaved himself, but she had to convince him to leave his buddies in the barn and go by himself.


During the time the girls were riding, I had to correct Beth a few times, as she was cantering the horse on the wrong lead, in tight circles opposite of what his legs were leading. A horse "leads" the canter and gallop strides with either the right or left front leg, depending on which direction they are moving. Horses are "handed" like people, meaning they prefer one lead over the other. In a straight line, it doesn't matter, but in circles, it does. If the horse is on the wrong lead, their leg motion propels them in the opposite direction that their body is bending to make the circle. (Here is video of a horse on the left lead; the animation of the running horse is the right lead.) We have discussed this repeatedly. It can be hard to learn to tell what lead a horse is on, but she assures me she knows. But then she continually allows the horse to canter on the incorrect lead. It can be dangerous if she is taking him in tight circles, as it can throw the horse off balance.


She was upset with me that I corrected her in front of everyone, but my options were mighty limited. And then she started having more trouble with the horse because her attitude was going south and he wanted to go home. So when things clearly began to escalate, I told her to dismount and walk the horse home. She was not a happy camper.


She walked him home, untacked him and completed night time horse chores. I headed to our favorite haunt, TCBY Yogurt, and brought home “dinner” for my sore-throat daughter, my tired and cranky daughter, and me. (Husband not home for dinner!) Before I left on the yogurt run, a very contrite Beth apologized, incredibly appropriately and incredibly heartfelt. And what did I do? I chewed her bones over the risky, almost tripped-and-fell canter that punctuated the end of her ride. And then I hopped in the car and left.


I hadn’t driven very far when I realized what a jerk I had been and I called her. I apologized myself and told she did a fabulous job of owning her behavior and I was the one who then handled things badly. There was a long pause and then a somewhat surprised, “Thanks!” And then a somewhat tearful request followed … “Can I talk to you when you get home?” You BET she can talk to me! What an honor and a privilege to be the recipient of her feelings and her trust. I asked her what was the matter, and she really couldn’t give me an answer. I assured her I would return home ASAP.


I did, and the first thing I did was give her a hug. She seemed better, and I think her emotions are just riding very close to the surface. There is change afoot, with us heading off to meet this new child this weekend. And school pressures, and fluctuating hormones … and life. But do you know what is so cool? I get to do life with her! Not against her, not around her, not in spite of her … but WITH her. It’s awesome.

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