J and I actually had a more “normal” “typical” teen son/mother fight last night.

To make a long story short, he had a friend over. I started teasing him about something (his friend was still there), and I inadvertently hurt his feelings.

This was the first time in three months that he actually displayed any negative emotions with me. Usually he sulls up and withdraws. Well not last night. He told me that I embarrassed him in front of his friend….that he wasn’t ever bringing friends over to the house again. He added in a few more hurtful things that are too difficult to explain.

By the time he had is say, we BOTH had hurt feelings.

I told him that I was sorry. I tried to model for him how to make up with someone when you were in the wrong. And I was….I started it.

He doesn’t have the emotional maturity to do the same. I told Coach he was going to have to help me lick my wounds later today when we have some alone time.

I remember last night, I actually started crying when I told him I was sorry and that he’d hurt my feelings too. He told me “It’s cool.” His way of saying apology accepted, I guess. It was quiet for a few minutes, and then he says “I said ‘It’s cool’ so why are you still crying?” I told him just doesn’t work that way. That my feelings don’t just switch off and on that quickly.

Coach says I should view it as a good thing. That you don’t display anger with someone unless you trust them. That he’d never shown anger and emotion with me before because he was afraid I’d kick him out.

He says that your feelings don’t get hurt unless you HAVE feelings for someone.