It amazes me how many people assume teenagers have some inherent right to be nasty and disrespectful simply because they are teens. How often have you heard a parent dismiss and ignore disruptive and ugly behavior with the comment, “Teenagers! There’s nothing you can do with them!”


I beg to disagree. I don’t think there is any age where it is acceptable and appropriate for one person to treat another person badly, simply because they are “at that age”. Toddlers can learn appropriate ways of responding and controlling their behavior, and so can teens. I have often heard teenagers described as “two year olds with hormones and wheels.”


Hormones can definitely complicate the mix, but they are not an excuse. Teens don’t become rude and disrespectful just because their hormones are on a roller coaster. Teens are disrespectful because they can be … our society does a pretty lousy job in many cases of holding kids accountable. And sadly, by the time a child grows into a large and rude teenager, much groundwork has been laid—or not—that determines how this “large child” will interact with those around him or her.


Case in point. Our neighbors down the street have a couple of these creatures—these teenager things. They drive like maniacs out of the subdivision, and often I am walking with my daughter and/or my five dogs. I stop the dogs and the kid but the driver never slows down as she passes us. When I suggested to her mom that slowing down would be a good idea, the response was, “She won’t do that!” OK, I get that she won’t volunteer to do that, but who controls the keys? Obviously not mom. In this same conversation we discussed how two of my dogs who are on electronic collars finally decided to take the shock and go after one of her obnoxious little beagles who had taunted and teased my under-control dogs for a month. Mine didn’t hurt him, they just chased him into his own garage. My neighbor said, “I can’t afford electric fence and I can’t tie them …” so the message was, it is pretty much my problem. (Occasionally she tied one of them, but the rope reached well into the street, over to the other side ... making it impossible for us to walk unmolested on the public street.) Additionally, while we were having this conversation, she blatantly undermined my attempt to make my five dogs lie down while we were talking; instead, she was calling them to her and preventing them from returning to me when I called them back, and “pleading” on their behalf.


So let me see if I get this straight … she wants my dogs to behave, and not chase her dogs even if her dogs provoke mine, but in the meantime she’s going to undermine my training.


When I was a young, childless, practicing veterinarian, I very quickly noticed that the folks who owned the dog who sat quietly on the table and didn't growl or fight also had kids that sat quietly on the bench and weren't disruptive; and the folks who had the crazy canine had the kids who were pulling used needles out of the nasty trash can that had all kinds of yucky stuff in it ... and the parents were unwilling or unable to intervene. Go figure.


My kids are respectful, responsible, fun-to-be-around kids all the time or they hear about it and/or remove themselves from polite company. It is never too late to raise the bar.


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