This day is finally over, and it is one that has been exceedingly difficult. After watching my beloved dog deteriorate rapidly before my eyes, I made the horrible but necessary decision to end her suffering. In spite of significant supportive care, she continued to vomit, exhibited “abdominal breathing” which is indicative of pain, and refused to move. When we did get her outside, she could barely stand up. I had to make sure there were no treatment options that I hadn’t explored, but even as I was researching and making phone calls, I could see we were losing ground rapidly. After consulting with another vet, I phoned my equine vet and had him make a house call tonight. He took one look at her and I think wondered what took me so long to make the decision. I was convinced it was the right thing to do at that time, and her suffering ended with me holding her head and sobbing as she left me.


We lost our other beloved Rottie when we lived in Illinois, but that dog, Reka, had walked many, many miles with me in Kansas. I carried her ashes back to Kansas when we moved with the intent of burying her on our property. So tonight, my husband buried Lexie and Reka together in the backyard, and we will plant a tree on their spot.


Beth was pretty distraught tonight, complicated by the fact that I did a marginal job of explaining what was going to happen. I was struggling mightily to deal with it myself. I gave her the opportunity to say good-bye, and a few hours before that we had talked about the very slim possibility of recovery. But she didn’t understand what was happening, and in retrospect I realize she couldn’t possibly have had the information she needed to understand. So I felt really bad about that, but we talked it out. She is at the age and stage where she is afraid of dying and losing loved ones (me especially) so this really hit her hard.


I spoke to Steph and we cried together on the phone… her, Beth and me, all together. Lexie was the sweetest dog I think we have ever owned… very soft, very sweet. She was a favorite of Steph’s. Both Steph and Kyle were shocked, as were my husband and I, over how fast things unfolded. Kyle remembered us having to put down a horse that was in severe pain from colic, and it was two days after he turned 12. He vividly remembers the impact it had on him, so he was concerned about Beth.


I choose to believe that when I get to heaven, I will be greeted by my gang of animals that departed before me. I suppose that concept is open for debate, but I am comforted in thinking about seeing my animals again some day.


Thanks, Lexie, for a great 6 and a half years. I love you so much.