I am writing this late at night in preparation for dripping it out into cyberspace this morning. We are leaving very early in order to get to Purdue in time for me to clean up a little and then meet and greet my vet school classmates. Of course, I had to pack for me and two girls, so I tossed the packing for the Border collies to my husband! I loaded songs on the new MP3 player I bought Dora (she doesn’t know yet) so she has something to listen to when she and Beth are not watching DVDs or catching up on homework. Not to mention the fact that I am pretty wiped out from dealing with two emotional girls last night …


As I mentioned in the previous blog, Dora awoke happy yesterday morning. She had a good day at school. After school there was a bit of a mini-crisis as Beth could not find the dictionary that Dora had borrowed. Since Dora had it last, she had the burden of finding it. When it didn’t show up, I quizzed Beth about the possibility of her having absentmindedly put it away. She didn’t think she did, but she looked, and she found it. By this time Dora is a basket case, and of course, it fell upon Beth to apologize. Beth arrived home from school looking exhausted and stressed, so having to apologize was yet one more stress. When Dora realized she was off the hook, she leapt into my lap for consoling, as by now she was really falling apart. I was thrilled that I was the comfort zone, and I hastened to clarify for Dora that making questionable choices (not seeing to it that the book was returned) was entirely different from being a bad person. I stressed that neither girl had handled it perfectly (Beth pressed Dora for a book that Beth had already retrieved) but no one was a bad person and life would go on.


It wasn’t lost on Beth that Dora came to me for comfort, regained control of her emotions, and moved on with opening a package that had arrived today from a much-loved relative. Beth, on the other hand, went upstairs to her room and she had a meltdown.


I went up to talk to her and we ended up cuddling on her bed. It made Beth jealous to see Dora grab onto me, but at the same time, it made Beth happy that Dora could and would do that. Beth's conflicting emotions are so confusing for her. We talked about how feeling jealous really, really sets Beth off, and I finally had a glimpse into how deep her fear of abandonment goes and how closely tied that is to feeling jealous—feeling replaced. We both ended up in tears, as usual, and I told her yet again how no one could ever, ever replace her … that I would always be her mom and I loved her more than life itself.


More coming on this … I’ll write in the car today and hopefully post tonight.


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