I think kids who will never be comfortable with intimate family dynamics often do best in very large families or even in group homes where family life is less one-on-one than traditional families. Of course, the ideal is to take an intimacy-fearing child and show them the error of their ways, and teach them the myriad of perks that come when they open their heart to love. But as we all know, that doesn’t always happen.


Even Cindy Bodie, earth mama to a bazillion children, gets frustrated when dealing with RAD. In a recent post she talked about her daughter and stated:

When she steals from us, or from school, there are no privileges to take away anymore as she has lost them all. A rewards system never worked, behavior modification doesn’t begin to touch Reactive Attachment Disorders, and it’s a waste of breath. All the other children in our family are outraged at the continuing behavior; I am more than a little disheartened.

Note… All the other children in our family are outraged at the continuing behavior. This tells you that all the other children learned to embrace the family to some extent… at least those that are still there. I also have little doubt that Cindy is a touchy-feely kind of mom--when her kids let her--but with that many kids, no one is the center of attention for very long. Not so in families with a few kids... if family members are looking for relationship... there are only a few choices. That puts attachment-resistant kids in the spotlight far too often.


So MOST kids are family material… but some are not. This is not to say that the latter kids don’t NEED a family, for they surely do… but sometimes that means a family from a distance, at least for a period of time. Tough stuff, isn’t it?


Next up, a series of questions answered by Deb Hannah. Don’t miss it!