Continuing with my discussion of abuse allegations levied against foster and adoptive parents, I want to share with you some of the amazing wisdom found in Jodee Kulp’s excellent book, Families at Risk; A guide to understanding and protecting children and providers involved in out-of-home or adoptive care.


In the preface, Jodee sets the tone by stating:

As adults, we may want to excuse our behavior or blame the child when the real solution lies in our understanding and dealing with the child’s crisis. The power of control is with the adult; not with the child. In most cases, adults have the capacity to make a choice.

In a licensed professional parenting family, an allegation of child maltreatment is tragic.

If true, the parents have failed the children.
If false, the ensuing investigation is extremely traumatic for everyone.

Jodee goes on to state that “caring for other people’s children is a high-risk profession.” She states that (when this book was written 13 years ago) 30,000 foster families leave the foster care system every year and are no longer resources for children who need homes. There are several reasons for this exodus, but fear of abuse allegations or actually suffering through this experience is probably the number one reason families leave foster care service.


During a four year period in the late 80’s and early 90’s, statistics showed that Minnesota Department of Human Services received 542 reports of suspected abuse; 22% were substantiated but less than 5% resulted in loss of the foster care license. So 95% of families were deemed suitable to continue parenting… at least until the next time someone went after them.


Jodee wrote this book because she was one of those less than 5% families. She started off to write a brochure but ended up writing a book with the help of the Minnesota Foster Care Association and other professionals in the adoption and foster care system. Jodee is an accomplished author and an expert on FAS as well. (She will be the author of the FAS material available on the under-construction but soon-to-be-completed new ATN website.)


Jodee’s family received placement of a 10 month old boy who had clear evidence of neglect. For eight months they nurtured, stimulated, loved and embraced this little boy. He quit trembling when they changed his diapers. He overcame the weakness that plagued one side of his body when he arrived in their home. He started to speak and he blossomed, leaving behind the silent, passive demeanor he had when first placed in their arms. And suddenly he was gone, although his removal had nothing to do with how they parented him. In the ensuing three years after his removal, he lived in four different homes and endured countless respite stays. He was diagnosed with an attachment disorder at age four, as well as uneven gross motor skills probably as a result of a stroke in infancy. He needed occupational and attachment therapy, but had no permanent home in his future.


The system at its best… stay tuned for more wisdom from Jodee’s book.

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