As Foster and I wrapped up our conversation, I reminded him that without his Love and Logic method, and without having been handed his book, Hope for High Risk and Rage-filled Children, my family and I would probably still be lost. Although I am still disgusted that I had to work so hard to get some answers, I am sure glad he didn’t hang up the attachment piece of his work before I learned about it.


We again discussed the difficult climate in America today for families with extremely disturbed children, and Foster reiterated,

I think that right now, if someone has a super-disturbed kid in America, it is unlikely that the child will receive adequate therapy from a psychological standpoint. It is much more likely the child will be medicated.

Although Foster is not sure of how he is remembered for the past and portrayed in the present, I reminded him of the incredible impact he has had on children and families. And because his resources were available to me, ADN was created and it has had (and is having) a major impact on children and families. So the ripple effect is quite active.


Although I don’t hear much about it these days, one of my favorite books about attachment disorder is Can This Child Be Saved? Foster Cline and Cathy Helding co-wrote this realistic portrayal of kids with severe attachment issues. Cathy was on one of the earliest listserves (it was more like a forum) and I was on it as well—sometime in the mid-90’s. I remember her talking about writing this book with Foster and I also remember her asking the forum participants some questions and doing some “research” through us. Some people consider this book too "doom and gloom" but I find it to be very realistic and honest.


So the bottom line is, Foster’s methods have been a staple ingredient of my parenting for over a decade. I knew I had won the lottery when Kyle came to me one day (when he was about 12 or 13 and after I had been using Love and Logic parenting for awhile) and said,

Mom, can I do this? Oh, and then you’ll say this, and I’ll say that, and you’ll say… OH, NEVER MIND!

And he walked away! And I said NOTHING! Thanks, Foster!