In my previous post, I was discussing the advance arrangements I am trying to put in place prior to bringing home another child. A reader inquired how I was able to get the school on board with a half-day schedule. Perhaps I should clarify that the teacher is on board and the principal has agreed to something along those lines, but it isn’t written in granite yet.


You folks have no idea what kind of baggage I have with this school. It is a different principal and different school social worker than I dealt with a decade ago with Tommy and Amy, but the front office staff, nurse and several teachers are the same. At last night’s Ice Cream Social, the music teacher was reminiscing about Kyle and his lead in the musical one year. However, the trauma I experienced at this place was so profound that I actually sought EMDR therapy prior to enrolling Beth at this same school. And I did lots of soul searching about whether or not I even wanted to put Beth in this school, ultimately deciding it was not fair to place her in another school away from her neighbor friends because of baggage that occurred before her time. So I dealt with my baggage and off we went.


When this new child appeared on the horizon, there were many things that needed to fall into place … with school issues being very close to the top of the list. It just so happens that Beth had the most fabulous teacher for the second half of third grade (we moved mid year) and that teacher leapt with the class to fourth grade. This is an amazing, nurturing but structured gal that I feel completely comfortable with, and in case you haven’t connected the dots, this new kiddo will be a fourth grader. So when the possibility of another placement presented itself, I immediately emailed this teacher and scoped her out. She’s more than willing to work with me, and having an intimate knowledge of Beth and my relationship with Beth, she trusts my instincts and judgment and knowledge about how to handle this incoming child. I have been clear about my priorities and I think pretty darn clear about what I won’t negotiate. The teacher is willing to run interference with the principal if need be. And the bottom line is, they’ll work with me or I simply won’t enroll her, and/or I’ll go higher up the chain. But I don’t think I will have to, because I really think the teacher gets it, and I think she is quite adept at thinking outside the box. My first priority is this child's mental health, and I think I know what she most needs. If they disagree, they'll have to document their line of thinking to my satisfaction. They'll have to convince me that academics trumps attachment. And I am most certainly not the angry, confused, unsupported and in-crisis parent I was ten years ago. I'm a much more formidable opponent.


(I have unlimited school stories I could tell ... oh my.)


I have always said Beth was “a God thing” because I needed her at least as much as she needed me, and we are so much alike it is mind-boggling. In the same way, I feel like God has opened this door and I am not supposed to shut it, and He will work out the details. The more I hear about this child, the more convinced I am that we are to move forward (and the more excited I am getting!) I will keep you all posted.


(Photo of Kyle in his "Ramblin' Man" outfit, sorry it is blurry but I did a frame grab from a video I produced for him. I made this outfit days before entering the hospital to have my "femur" removed, otherwise known as my uterus ... )