I am sure I would be preaching to the choir if I happened to say I see attachment issues and attachment disorder nearly everywhere I am … and if I don’t see it, it finds me. My friends call me the “RAD Magnet.” Here are some examples:


I have spent a good portion of this past week networking, making and re-establishing connections in preparation for ATN’s second national conference in Excelsior Springs, Missouri this August. One of those connections was to approach a local bookstore about stocking and staffing a book table at the conference. I was connected with this really neat lady, about my age. I told her about the conference and mentioned some of the books we might want available. She nodded in instant recognition.


Turns out this woman fostered three boys in the early 90’s. One joined the military and is doing very well. Another is also doing well. The third is serving time for manslaughter! He lived with this lady’s family for five years, arriving early in his second decade of life. Her eyes teared up just talking about him, all these years later. She was struggling with this child a few years before I started ATN a few miles from where she lives. And she said, “It would have been SO nice to have services like this when I needed them!”


Another call I made today is a gentleman that is an attorney and helps parents plan for their special needs children. His wife is a psychologist and they have three RAD kids, two of whom are already placed residentially. The third in this sibling group that was adopted domestically is now 7, and he says she is the most severe case of RAD he has ever seen. And he sadly suspects she will be placed residentially before age 11.


I decided today that my daughter’s pony is not the right equine for her. And the pony is too hard for me to ride due to size and balance issues, so we are going to sell her and find a horse that we can all ride. My husband works with a man who, along with his wife, raises Morgan horses. I called the wife tonight, following up on an email she sent that listed Morgan breeders recommended by this couple. (I'm leaning towards an Arabian, though!) Turns out the wife is a psychiatric nurse! And when I told her what I did, I said I figured a significant number of the kids I encountered ended up populating psych hospitals as adults, at least at some point in their lives. I said many kids with attachment issues grew up to become adults who received diagnoses of personality disorders, like sociopaths, narcissists, and borderlines. “Ah, borderlines, we have lots of those here!” she said. “Is what you do fulfilling? My husband asks me every week, ‘So, is this fulfilling?’”


Yes, what I do is fulfilling, but I would be extremely happy to be forced to find something else to do because no more parents ever needed support in their attempts to parent traumatized and attachment-affected kids. Do you think I need to start looking for something else to do any time soon? Like maybe actually have time to RIDE this horse I am now searching for?


By the way, I saw the doc this morning and left on antibiotics for the respiratory infection, and muscle relaxants and a physical therapy referral for my back. (And strict orders against horseback riding ... ) Getting old is a pain! (But the alternative is worse ...)

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