Comments on: Helping siblings feel safe and secure when living with disturbed kids

By: katef

katef — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 17:30:41 +0000

I look forward to hearing from you! If not before your surgery, good luck!

By: Nancy Spoolstra

Nancy Spoolstra — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 13:02:56 +0000

WOW, Kate, what a powerful post. I am heading out the door for a four day road trip and surgery, but hope to post before my surgical procedure tomorrow. I DEFINITELY want to continue this dialog with you … thanks so much for your comment. I’ll get back to you!

By: katef

katef — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 06:19:49 +0000

Hi Nancy, my name is Kate and I just found this website tonight after another RAD incident with my younger sister. She has been living with my family for the past four years and I will fully admit to being the angry, confused, and fearful sibling that you have discussed above. In all honesty, I haven’t found a way to get past my anger, even after going through counseling on and off since she came to live with us. The best advice I did recieve, though, was from an art therapist I see on occasion who reminds me that I’m not my sisters parent. Because I am the “normal” child, at times I tend to think that I have to be my sister’s savior, which in turn confuses me and my place in the family. Like most RAD children, she is the squeaky wheel that gets all the attention, and the thing parents need to remember is that the wheels that don’t squeak still need the same amount of attention and appreciation. I’m still extremely angry, and most of the time I can’t really explain why. Maybe it is because I’ve tried so hard to help her, or maybe it’s because I’ve seen myself disappear at times in my family. To help with the anger, all I would recommend is that siblings try not to take everything to heart so much and try to get over the feeling that their RAD sibling is constantly out to get them.

By: sltgjt

sltgjt — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 14:00:59 +0000

We notified the police and cps about the attemted poisoning of our 2 year old by her 7 year old brother. I had a pot boiling over and turned my back for 10 seconds. Thank God I got to her. The police told us that there was nothing they could do unless he did kill her or did poison her. Cps said the same thing. When we asked to put him into foster care so we could could the family safe while we found help for him. They told us they he was not considered a resident of our state even though he goes to school and had lived with us for 18 months. The police told us that they would arrest us if we tried to put him into foster care because of abondonment. It makes you wonder why our home broke down doesn’t it. We plan on having him for a couple of weeks this summer and have already bought an alarm for his door and a door lock alarm for our dd room that you need a card to swipe through in order to get in. I plan on sleeping in her room and doing everything possible to keep her safe. I want her to have a bond with her brother she loves him so much.